Wife Wants To Take Sailing Lessons, But Her Husband Is Mad Because He Wants Her To Support Him At His Ironman Race

Matthew Gilligan

5 months ago

Shutterstock/Reddit

I don’t like to be the bearer of bad news…but I don’t think this married couple is on the same page.

AT ALL.

And you’re gonna see what I mean in just a minute when you dive in to this story from Reddit.

Take a look at what happened!

AITA for prioritizing my hobby over my husband’s?

“Me (39f) and my husband (39m) got into an argument tonight because I would rather do a sailing course than go to his half Ironman. I don’t know if I’m in the wrong here.

We’ve been married for 2 years and dated for 7. The whole time I’ve known him he’s been into endurance sports. He’s done multiple marathons, sprint and half Ironmans, and one full Ironman.

She’s been a solid cheerleader for him!

I have attended almost all of his races to cheer him on. If you know anything about this world, it is A LOT for the spouses and families. We plan almost every summer around his race calendar and training schedules.

This means taking our vacations in the off season or him training during our vacation. And him doing many hours of training during the week and on weekends. This is totally cool with me as I like my alone time and am generally pretty independent.

But there’s a problem…

Now for the argument.

I’ve been wanting to learn to sail since 2020 but due to COVID and some personal health issues it hasn’t happened yet. This year we moved within spitting distance to a marina and I’ve made friends with people who sail. I feel like it’s finally meant to be and I can’t wait.

The problem is that the sailing course I want to take is only offered on certain dates. Due to other plans we have this summer, the first one I could do overlaps with his half Ironman so I wouldn’t be able to go with him.

If I don’t do this one, then I have to wait until mid August which is late in the season (where we live).

I could find another place that offers courses but I want to join this specific club because I know people there already and they have the best facilities and events.

Hmmmm…

When I explained this to him and showed him the other dates he suggested I could call in sick from work for 3 days and do a different date. I replied in a snarky way “so you want me to miss work so I can go to your Ironman?”

He immediately got annoyed, walked away and said “fine I’ll just go by myself”. This sparked a huge argument.

I felt like it was an unreasonable thing to even ask me to do, and that skipping one race isn’t a big deal. He says he felt like my response was dismissive and that it was just a suggestion.

He said this race has been planned for months and he was looking forward to taking the trip with me (the race is somewhere we both enjoy visiting around 3.5 hrs from where we live).

Let’s be honest…he kind of sounds like a baby…

While I do enjoy supporting him, attending a half Ironman isn’t a relaxing vacation for me. It’s super fun for him and I know it helps motivate him to see me cheering along the course, but it can be pretty tiring for me and I’ve been to so many at this point so why shouldn’t I put my sailing first?

We talked it out and I apologized for being dismissive and snarky. He’s ok with me not going but I’m doubting now.

AITA for how I reacted to his suggestion and skipping his race? Should I just take time off and do both (I wouldn’t call out sick but I could take PTO)?”

Reddit users shared their thoughts.

This person had a lot to say.