When people live under the same roof, even small routines can turn into big problems.

So, what would you do if your partner worked overnight shifts and just needed a quick shower before sleep, only for someone in the house to complain it was disruptive? Would you push back? Or would you let your partner make the call and risk upsetting others?

In today’s story, one man finds himself in this same situation and chooses the latter. Here’s what happened.

AITA for “letting” my girlfriend stop coming over in the mornings after my mom’s friend complained about her showering?

My girlfriend works 12-hour overnight shifts (7 p.m. to 7 a.m.). After work, she sometimes comes to my place to shower and sleep. She usually arrives around 8:15 a.m., takes a quick shower by 8:30, then crashes for the day.

Here’s where the issue comes in: my mom’s long-term friend (who rents the basement) complained that the sound of the shower at 8:30 a.m. wakes him up.

My mom passed that complaint along to me and asked if my girlfriend could avoid showering until “everyone is awake.”

I told my girlfriend, and she felt uncomfortable continuing to come over understandably, in my opinion. After working all night, the last thing she wants is to feel like she’s disturbing people just by taking a basic shower before bed.

Now, his mom’s upset that she no longer comes over in the mornings.

So she decided not to come over in the mornings anymore. She didn’t cause drama or make a scene, just quietly adjusted.

I later told my mom what my girlfriend decided, and she got upset not because of the shower, but because my girlfriend chose to stop coming over in the mornings. My mom insists that wasn’t her intention, but from our perspective, asking someone not to shower after a night shift pretty clearly sends the message that their presence is disruptive.

For context: I also pay rent in this house. My mom’s friend has lived here for years and pays rent too. We all share the space. It’s not like my girlfriend was being loud or unreasonable, just taking a 5–10 minute shower in the morning, which seems pretty standard.

Now my mom’s upset with me, but I feel like I handled it fairly. I passed the message along, my girlfriend made a calm and mature decision, and now somehow I’m caught in the middle.

AITA?

Wow! This guy can’t win for losing.

Let’s check out what the people over at Reddit have to say about this.

For this person, the whole situation is weird.

This person thinks it’s a reasonable hour for a shower.

Yet another person who sees no problem with a shower at 8:30 am.

Here’s someone who thinks everyone was wrong except the girlfriend.

The roommate is something else. It almost sounds like he was looking for a reason to complain about her.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.