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It’s sad how many times people steal their coworkers’ lunches from the fridge.
And it can be nearly impossible to catch the culprit.
But one employee discovered a creative way to get revenge.
Lunch thief’s just desserts
Years ago, I had a lunch thief.
About the 12th time complaining to HR about people stealing my lunch (mandatory reporting every 3rd or 4th instance) i was seething not a darn thing was being done and I still had to go buy something to eat.
I was complaining about it to my doctor at the yearly check up and he got a smile saying “You are constipated then?” I was dumb and said “No, why?” he wrote me a prescription for some intense laxative with instructions to “Mix it in with your meal for maximum affect.” At that point I knew the plan.
The effect wasn’t straightforward.
I wish I could say they **** their pants but no, they ate my sandwich with special avocado sauce. About an hour after lunch i went to HR and reported 2 things: 1, my lunch was stolen again and 2, my medication was stolen.
HR “So you got hit by the lunch thief again and your medicine was in the bag?” Me “Yes i have had some digestive problems and my doctor prescribed a powerful laxative and advised me to mix it in with my mid day meal.”
HR going white “You what?” Me smiling “I mixed in a prescription grade laxative with my food per doctor’s orders.”
The capture was epic.
Being that stealing prescribed medication is a criminal offence the police were called and found the lead man from a department over absolutely ******** his brains out. He was furious and accused me of poisoning his food. I asked, “At which point did you get the idea that food was for you? Now I no longer have my medication I was prescribed for my condition.”
It was about this time he knew he messed up and shut his mouth until he got a lawyer, or so I’m told (small town). One of my buddies from high school took his position. I can make and eat my hoagies and I have no clue where lunch thief went after his fines and community service.
Here is what people are saying.
The audacity!
How poetic.
Sentimental!
Not quite, but it’s a cover.
What’s the best this guy hasn’t learned his lesson?
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