His Dad Hardly Gives Him Any Gifts, And His Wife Thinks This Is Really Unfair Considering How Much His Dad Gives His Other Children

Jayne Elliott

4 months ago

Shutterstock/Reddit

Imagine having three children. One is very successful financially, but the other two are not. Would you give gifts to the three children equally, or would you help out the children who are struggling financially more than you help out the one who is successful?

In today’s story, one man shares that he is very successful financially, but his wife is upset that his dad doesn’t give them as many gifts as he gives his other kids.

Is she right to feel this way, or is she just trying to cause drama?

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for telling my wife she’s unreasonable?

We’re having a recurrent argument with my wife of 20 years about a situation with my brother and sister.

For background, we’re pretty wealthy, my wife and I created and sold a business.

My brother and sister, on the other hand, are less lucky.

All 3 of us got the same education (both my brother and sister have a Master) but my sister somehow ended up as a single mother with 2 kids and basically unemployed. My brother is a private school teacher, which means his salary isn’t bad but he’s also nowhere near wealthy.

His dad gives his brother and sister a lot of money.

The argument we keep having relates to my dad, who is also very comfortable in life.

He keeps helping out my brother and sister.

For instance my sister lives in one of his houses, he gave her 2 cars throughout the years, etc. Basically much of her lifestyle is subsidized by my dad.

Same thing with my brother, although to a slightly lesser extent: whenever he needs something he won’t buy himself (Apple computer, driving lessons, his wedding, entire relocation cost from moving from one city to another, the security deposit for his new apartment, etc.), my dad is there for him. Even for their kids’ clothes (both my brother’s and sister’s kids), a large part of it is paid for by my dad.

I assume that each of them receives north of 10,000 dollars a year worth of various subsidies from my dad.

Here’s his wife’s perspective of the situation.

My wife says this is unfair because we, on the other hand, receive virtually nothing from him.

Our own kids for instance receive maybe 1 gift a year from their grandad, for either Christmas or their birthday.

She says we’re somehow being punished for making the right choices in life and they are rewarded for their own worse situation, and that this also encourages them to not work as hard as we did. She says fairness would dictate that my dad treats his children the same, giving equal amounts to each.

Whenever she hears of a new present my dad gives my sister or brother, she gets very angry at the unfairness of it, and angry at me for not finding the situation abnormal.

Here’s his perspective.

My own point of view is that the situation is fine, and that my dad is on the contrary trying to correct the unfairness of the difference in lifestyle between his kids, helping out my brother and sister who need it more than I do.

I’m telling my wife she’s trying to create conflict and division within my side of the family when there shouldn’t be some, that we really have not much to complain about and that she’s unreasonable for having these feelings.

Additional background that is somewhat relevant: we live far away from home (in Asia) while my brother and sister live in the same country as my dad (France). We however come back home once a year for a few weeks to see my side of the family.

So what do you think: am I a jerk here, is it normal that my wife feels disappointed and angry?

It’s his family and his dad’s money. If he doesn’t find this situation unfair, then his wife should stay out of it and be happy that they can provide for themselves without needing a handout.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This person thinks the wife sounds entitled.