Having a family birthday party for young children can be a lot of fun. Many times, kids will also want to have a separate party with their friends.

What would you do if your mother-in-law got upset that she wasn’t invited to the party for the children and is trying to force herself in?

That is what is happening to the family in this story, and now mom is wondering if setting boundaries here makes sense.

Let’s read all the details.

AITA for not inviting my MIL to my daughter’s birthday party?

My daughter just turned 5.

We don’t usually do big birthday parties, only for milestone years (1, 5, 10, 13, 18, 21).

On the other years, we hold family parties, so every year we have had just nuclear family and in laws for her bday.

This seems pretty normal.

Her bday is the 26th.

My MIL insisted on a gift exchange on Xmas eve with just her and the grandkids and us parents, and then on Christmas we had the big family party. While there we sang to my daughter and had cupcakes.

This year we are holding an actual birthday for her. It is princess themed and I invited like 20 other little girls and their mothers (who happen to be my friends).

It is literally just little girls and their mothers, I didn’t even invite my own mother, and she knows this and is fine with it.

Why would she be upset about this?

Well on Christmas in front of everyone, when talking about the bday party, my MIL asked if she was invited.

I explained that it was just little girls and their mothers and I didn’t even invite my own.

She huffed and puffed and my husband was like, “it’s fine mom, you can come.”

I don’t know if I’m just being a jerk or not, but I feel like at some point she will have birthday parties and the grandparents don’t always need to show up?

I don’t really know what is normal or the standard anymore. Since her birthday is so close to Christmas we will always have a smaller family celebration, but then I want my daughter to have her special day with her friends.

What harm is there in having her there, unless she tries to monopolize the attention of the daughter.

I’m not sure if I’m just setting a boundary for no reason or if my expectation is normal.

My MIL is a narcissist and we don’t have much of a relationship with her, so I need some perspective sometimes about what is normal, especially since I come from a small family and I’m very independent and outspoken.

AITA?

There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries with the mother-in-law, but I’m not sure this is the right place to draw a line in the sand.

Read on to see what he people in the comments on Reddit think about this.

I agree with this commenter.

Yes, the husband shouldn’t undermine her.

This commenter says it is a double edged sword.

This is a good way to do it.

Yes, what does the daughter think?

Setting boundaries is usually a good idea, but is it necessary here?

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.