If one of your parents passed away and the other parent remarried, would you ever think of the stepparent as your parent, or would you hold that spot in your heart for your deceased parent?

Assuming you still miss your deceased parent, is there anything wrong with honoring them in a graduation speech?

You wouldn’t think so, but that’s what’s going on in this story.

Check out what happened, and see if you think this young woman did anything wrong.

AITA for mentioning my dad in my graduation speech and wishing he was still here in front of my stepdad?

“My parents divorced when I (18f) was a baby and they shared custody of me (7 days with dad, 7 days with mom) until my dad passed away when I was 7.

I was 3 when my mom remarried and my stepdad is someone I always remember being around. But I was very aware as a little girl that my dad and stepdad didn’t get along.

I think there was insecurity from both of them but I was also a really big daddy’s girl and that was only for my dad.

My stepdad loved me as his own and wanted me to be his. I always knew that. He tried to convince me to call him dad so many times via bribery, spoiling and even pushing his and mom’s feelings on me.

He’s just Steve…

I never called him dad or anything dad-like. For as long as I’ve known him he’s been “Steve” and he remains Steve even now after dad’s been gone for 11 years and Steve’s been here.

If I’m honest I think dad and Steve could be as bad as each other toward each other. But my dad never badmouthed Steve or pressured me or put his feelings on me to reject Steve or not call him dad. While Steve did pressure me to call him dad.

So I always took dad’s side.

That was actually more obvious when my dad passed away.

Father’s Day didn’t help.

For five years I refused to say Happy Father’s Day to Steve and I shut down on Father’s Day. I fought with mom those five Father’s Days too.

Eventually I did wish him a Happy Father’s Day again but always using his name. And I would only sign a card if mom got a STEPDAD card instead of a DAD card.

Mom and I fought about that. She was firmly of the belief that I should call Steve dad and accept him into the role.

But even 7 years of therapy has never made me want to do that. I can accept that Steve didn’t take dad and if I did, it would be okay to love and consider both my dad given how long Steve’s been in my life. But I don’t feel it.

She’s always stood her ground.

He offered to adopt me 15 times after my dad died and before I turned 18.

I always said no.

I graduated from high school at the end of May. I already moved out of my mom and Steve’s house too because mine and mom’s fighting was the worst it had ever been.

I still invited them to see me graduate and to the dinner my extended family hosted after.

During dinner I was asked to make a speech and I thanked my mom and Steve and a lot of family members and then I talked about dad and how I missed him so much and wished he was there. And I said I hoped if there is something that comes after, and he’s watching, that he’s proud of me.

That didn’t go over very well…

My mom and Steve left dinner before I fully finished my speech (I’d moved onto some other stuff).

Mom complained to her parents and then they chewed me out for making a speech like that in front of Steve after everything.

He told me I had proven my point and he wouldn’t expect to be anything when I get married or have kids because it’s clear he’s not even a bonus dad to me and that I have zero respect for him or care for his feelings.

Mom told me I gutted Steve and that it was clear as day I feel like I grew up without any dad after dad died and that my speech was hurtful since Steve had known me since I was a toddler.

I have the support of both my dad and my mom’s family who are mad they expected anything different from me.

Mom’s parents chewed her out for her complaints. But mom said I put Steve down in front of everyone by bringing dad up like I did.”

She didn’t badmouth Steve. She just said she missed her dad. That sounds perfectly normal. Her mom and stepdad are really getting upset about nothing.

Reddit users shared their thoughts.

This person said she’s NTA.

Another individual agreed.

This Reddit user spoke up.

Another reader weighed in.

And this person had a lot to say.

Well, you can’t please everyone…

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.