She Tutors A Kid At Her Home, But The Student And Grandmother Are So Verbally Abusive That It’s Become Unbearable

Ashley Ashbee

5 months ago

Pexels/Reddit

Sometimes if you really believe in a job, even if the atmosphere is unbearable, your passion can make it hard to move on.

Sometimes you have to move on anyway.

Have you ever worked in a toxic work environment and had a hard time deciding if you should stick it out or quit?

The person in this story is a tutor who wants to quit but feels guilty for doing so.

See what made this tutor finally put her foot down.

AITAH for quitting as a tutor after my student screamed at me and disrespected me (again)?

I have been tutoring an 11-year-old girl for the past 2.5 years.

She lost both her parents shortly before I started teaching her and now lives with her elderly grandmother, who has a disability (one leg amputated).

I’ve been teaching the girl four days a week, two hours per session and at first I was paid $2000 a month. After 2.5 years, that went up to $3000—still under $100 an hour.

Not that I ever did it for the money, but I feel like it matters to the context.

It’s a super toxic situation.

The home environment has always been difficult. There’s regular shouting and arguing between the student and her grandmother and the overall energy is emotionally intense.

I have anxiety and yelling tends to trigger me. I remember freezing the first time they screamed in front of me. Even now, my hands shake when she raises her voice.

Still, I stuck with it because I cared.

I adjusted my schedule around her, canceled plans, studied early for my own exams just to make time for hers, and barely took any leaves, even when I was sick.

It gets worse.

The girl has been disrespectful on multiple occasions—mocking my height, yelling at me, refusing to listen, and generally treating me like I didn’t matter.

Her grandmother also made comments about me behind my back (e.g., I “waste food,” when she gave me more than I could eat; or I “take too many leaves,” even though I rarely did).

So I stopped eating there. I stopped missing sessions even when I needed to.

I helped her with school projects, made notes, explained topics again and again when she got distracted, yet I constantly felt like I was never enough.

Today was a pretty bad day.

Today, I had really bad period cramps and couldn’t attend college in the morning. I was late to the tutoring session, and when I arrived, the student and her grandmother were already in a heated argument.

I calmly tried to shift her focus to her studies. I asked a casual question about schoolwork and mentioned (lightheartedly) that she used to often say her copy was submitted last year, something that was true and said in a non-accusatory tone.

But she exploded.

She started screaming at me, pointing her finger, saying I don’t deserve respect just because I’m older.

She finally stood up for herself.

I finally told her I couldn’t teach her anymore if this was how she was going to treat me.

She snapped back that I was “acting.”

I told her and her grandmother that I couldn’t keep doing this—it was mentally exhausting and taking a real toll on me.

She has tried so hard.

Her grandmother later called to ask if I really meant what I said and when I gently said yes, she brushed it off with, “You know she doesn’t have parents.”

I do know. And I have tried so hard to be patient, understanding, and empathetic. But I don’t believe grief justifies constantly hurting others, especially people who are trying to help.

For context: they pay another tutor $4000 a month, who teaches six days a week and has other students and a full-time job. She’s often praised as “better than me.”

This was my first student, and I know I’m still learning. But I cared deeply, and I truly gave it everything I had. Now I’m left wondering: AITAH for finally walking away?

What a horrible situation.

Here is what folks are saying on Reddit.

Exactly. Never let people justify abuse.