Some people mean well when they give advice, even if it’s bad advice. Others just seem to want their misery to have company.

But what would you do if a good friend, who settled for someone who doesn’t treat them right, told you to lower your standards? Would you call them out on it?

Well, this woman told her friend some hard truths about her marriage, and now they’re not talking. Was she too harsh?

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for telling my friend i don’t want to end up like her after she told me to lower my standards?

I (22F) met Rachel (23F) 3 years ago in university, and we became friends.

For context, I have never dated before and I am ok with that, I don’t purposefully seek out relationship and I am comfortable being by myself.

I have a few close friends and this is enough for me. In contrast, Rachel has had a lot of boyfriends, and doesn’t like to be single (her words).

She met her husband, Max, 2 years ago in one of the uni classes, and they quickly began dating.

He isn’t the most pleasant guy to be around in my opinion, and they had quite a few big arguments during the relationship.

But Rachel seems blind to it all.

He even tried to flirt with me, and I told Rachel about it, but she dismissed it saying he was probably just trying to butter me up so I help him with homework.

He has told some rude jokes in the past too.

Whenever they fought, I always told Rachel she deserves better and to break up with him, but in the end they always made up.

He proposed to her after one year, and they got married 4 months ago.

However, after they moved in together (in the flat that Rachel’s parents pay the rent for) Max became even worse.

He never helps out with cleaning or cooking, doesn’t really take Rachel out on dates anymore, and whenever she tries to talk to him about it, Max tells her to stop complaining about “wife’s duties”.

And Rachel wants her to be as happy as she is.

So, a few days ago Rachel asked me if I would like to go on a date with one of her friends from high school who is single and is looking for a relationship.

I’ve never been on a date before, so I agreed out of curiosity. We went to a nice restaurant.

The guy never asked me a single question about myself back, and after I got tired of coming up with questions about him, we just sat the rest of the meal in awkward silence.

We split the bill, and after he walked me to the subway station, he tried to kiss me.

I declined as politely as I could and went home.

The next day I met up with Rachel. Apparently she’s already heard about how the date went from her friend.

She questioned her behavior during the date.

She asked me why I rejected him. I told her the reasons I mentioned before, and that I didn’t really like the guy.

Then she rolled her eyes and said that I need to lower my standards because I’m honestly not that attractive, that I blew maybe my only chance to date, and if I continue like that I’ll end up forever alone.

Even though she knows I’m fine without a relationship!

Also I’m not insecure about my appearance, but hearing my friend say that about me hurt.

Things finally reached a boiling point.

I got angry and said “Better to be forever alone than end up like you, with a husband that doesn’t respect me”.

She started crying and said that I’m being rude when she’s just trying to look out for me, and then left. We haven’t texted or spoken since.

Honestly I’m not sure if I want to salvage this friendship after finding out this is how Rachel felt about me all this time.

However, I feel guilty for saying this to her when I knew it was a sore spot, and also for kinda blaming her for the fact that her husband is awful.

AITA?

She’s so NOT in the wrong.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this.

This comment sums it up.

Exactly.

Food for thought.

Another reader chimes in.

Yup.

A sensible comment.

I don’t see how this friendship could be beneficial to her after this.

A friend who made such a bad decision is likely to be a negative influence even if they don’t realize it.

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