Becoming a new part of an established family is something that needs to be handled with grace.

If you just assume you’re going to take on exactly the same role as someone who’s been there for decades, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Like in this story.

AITA for not wanting to go to a father/daughter dance with my mom’s new husband?

My parents got divorced 4 years ago and my mom remarried 4 months ago.

I (17f) live half the time with mom and the other half with dad.

My older sister (19) is living out of state because she’s in college and she was already in college when mom introduced her husband to us.

And for the most part, it’s going ok?

I know mom wanted us both to like him but especially me.

And for the most part I think he’s fine though I know he has some conservative values when it comes to girls and women and that’s awkward.

But mom’s happy with him and he treats her well so I don’t hate him.

But I would never ask for his opinion on my future and I already told mom I won’t discuss college with him because I know he won’t add anything of value to those conversations (he thinks gaming is for boys and so is anything IT and those are fields of interest for me).

Then came the question of the dance.

The transition overall has been a little rough but mom already thinks of him as my other dad and now she wants me to go to this father/daughter dance with him.

He mentioned it was something his work was a part of and how great it would be to go.

Mom told me after I should go with him and I said no.

She said it’d be a great bonding experience.

I said it’s not bonding it’s acting like he’s my dad when he’s not and I wasn’t even sure I’d go to one of those with my dad.

She said it made it even better because it can be our thing.

I told her I don’t want to go with him and I don’t want to play his daughter.

The more parents the better?

Mom told me I should give it and him more of a chance because it’s not a bad thing to have more parents.

Then she told me he’ll be around a long time and wouldn’t it be better if he could be included going forward and not just as a guest but as a member of my family.

There’s…a lot of disappointment.

I repeated that I did not want to go with him and mom told me that was disappointing and she was disappointed I wouldn’t even sit with it for a while. AITA?

People chimed in in the comments:

That’s SUCH a short time.

If you don’t want to, you don’t want to.

Also, all dances aren’t created equal.

Yeah…you don’t owe him this, for sure.

But it might be nice.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.