Wedding etiquette is weird to say the least.

There’s rules on where you should sit, how you should behave, what you should wear – and that’s just the ‘rules’ for a guest, not to mention the conventions that society expects the happy couple to observe.

Agreeing to go to a wedding is effectively agreeing to abide by these etiquette rules, or face the consequences.

So when the woman in this story found herself unavoidably in breach of one of these expectations, she really didn’t know what to do.

Read on to find out how she stuck up for herself.

AITA for not paying for a wedding I’m not attending?

I am a 30-year-old woman, and I started a relationship with a man called Joe (31) in the middle of May of this year.

Shortly after we started going out, he asked me to be a plus-one to his friend Meg’s wedding.

I have never met Meg, but I agreed to go.

We RSVPed, and Joe booked plane tickets and a hotel room.

Let’s see what happened to make this plan go sour.

A couple days ago, I ended the relationship with Joe.

It’s important to note that while money was not the main reason for the breakup, it was one of the things we argued about most.

I am very frugal (perhaps to a fault), and Joe likes to spend money on creature comforts and trips, and often expects me to do the same.

Joe lives at home rent free, while I have my own apartment. I live pretty much paycheck to paycheck, with a small stash set aside in savings.

Read on to see how the wedding plans factored into their breakup.

There’s still about five weeks left to the wedding.

I ended the relationship when I did partly because I didn’t want to be in the pictures from the wedding and cause people to feel bad when they looked back at those pictures.

I am returning everything Joe left in my apartment, save a few things he was okay with me keeping.

I also offered to pay for my plane ticket and my half of the hotel stay as a good-faith gesture. It comes to over $400, which is just about everything I have in savings.

But this wasn’t enough for Joe.

Today, Joe contacted me and asked if I could pay another $125 on top of all of that to offset Meg’s costs for my plate and everything at the reception. He says it’s so close to the wedding and since deposits have gone to vendors, I should pay my portion.

I think that more than a month’s notice is ample time for Meg to either fill the seat or for Joe to find another plus-one, who would also be benefitting from my paying half of the hotel stay.

I also think that since I wouldn’t pay that money if I was attending, then I shouldn’t have to pay now that I’m not.

It’s my understanding that people not going to weddings after they RSVP is just one of those costs that’s inevitable, and I’m at least doing Meg the courtesy of giving over a month’s notice.

AITA?

There is absolutely no way she should be paying towards this stranger’s wedding – she’s actually being very thoughtful by not wanting to be in the photos, knowing that the relationship isn’t going to work long-term.

It’s clear that Joe has little empathy when it comes to this woman’s money situation, and he’s proving that by trying to demand more and more from her, rather than just finding another plus one.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit thought about this.

This person agreed she should pay for her flight, but nothing more.

While many others pointed out that he still needed the hotel room, and shouldn’t be asking for half of the cost.

And this Redditor explained why the plate cost was for Meg to deal with.

It’s completely unfair to expect her to pay for her food at a wedding she won’t be going to, of people she has never even met.

The alternative was for her to continue the relationship knowing it wasn’t going to work out, which was not in the best interests of anyone involved.

She’s done the right thing, and now she’s being punished for it.

She needs to stick to her guns.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.