It’s understandable that some people are just shy, or socially awkward.

But sometimes – it’s more than that.

Sometimes it’s more about being aloof and superior.

And the person in this story fears that’s happening to her.

AITAH for not apologizing to my sister in law?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 years.

Throughout these past years, I’ve tried to form a friendship with his brother’s girlfriend.

From the beginning, I’ve felt a sense of distance from her.

Despite being kind and respectful, my attempts to have a friendship have been met with coldness.

Some examples are, she’s avoided eye contact, turned her back when i’ve greeted them, and often redirected/made her boyfriend respond for her instead of speaking to me directly, which i find extremely rude.

But is it all in her head?

At first I thought maybe I was overthinking or that she was just “reserved”, but after three years of consistent ignoring, no effort to get to know me, and countless declined invitations, I’ve realized this isn’t just a misunderstanding.

I’ve also picked up on a sense of judgment from both of them.

They don’t drink which is completely fine and something I respect, but there have been subtle moments where it feels like they see themselves as morally superior because of it.

This paired with constantly being dismissed has made me feel looked down on, when I’ve done nothing but try to meet them halfway.

I know some sober couples. They’re not judgy about it, nor do they get nosy about anyone else’s choices.

It’s not that hard.

I’ve talked to my boyfriend about this several times.

He brought it up to his brother a few times and he said I seemed uninterested when he did try to talk.

My bf assured it wasn’t the case and I never saw a change.

I eventually stopped putting myself in a position to feel rejected or uncomfortable and the last time i saw her, I simply said hello and kept my distance.

I’m now being told that she felt ignored/excluded.

I think that I simply reciprocated the energy she would give to me.

It felt like my bf’s brother was alluding to me apologizing or having a chat with his gf because she was hurt.

So…suddenly she’s invested in these interactions?

I understand how that I may be acting petty, but after years of trying and feeling unseen I think I’m justified to not pursue.

I also understand that not everyone wants to be my friend and they don’t have to like me.

However, I feel completely dismissed and i am done chasing a relationship that clearly isn’t welcome.

I’m okay with keeping things cordial, and I no longer feel the need to keep initiating when it’s not reciprocated.

My bf wants me to be the bigger person and apologize/have a conversation with her but i don’t want to, AITAH?

Let’s see what the comments say:

Turnabout is fair play?

Turn down for WHAT?

She probably wouldn’t approach it in good faith, tbh.

You’re gonna have people in your life for whom cordial is the only option.

It’s fine. Just let it be.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.