Traditions can be tough to balance once new people enter the picture, especially when kids are involved and everyone has different parenting styles.

So, what would you do if you had a long-standing annual event that worked perfectly for your family, but your new partner wanted you to change the setup to accommodate him and his kids?

Would you change your way of doing things? Or would you keep the setup the way it’s always been?

In the following story, one woman deals with this exact predicament and opts for the latter.

Here’s how it all played out.

AITA for not changing my annual backyard party plans for my boyfriend and his kids?

I (42F) have been hosting an end-of-summer party with my neighbors for years.

It’s always the same setup: adults and kids come, we all celebrate together, and at some point, the kids go to sleep while the adults continue the evening.

This year’s plan was the same: I was going to bring my kids (6 and 10) inside to sleep at our home, which is right next to the backyard. From the balcony, there is both audio and visual access to the yard, and my kids also have a phone they can use to call me if needed.

After putting them to bed, I planned to go back to the backyard for a little while longer to enjoy the evening with friends.

She tried to include her boyfriend, but he didn’t like any of her suggestions.

I invited my boyfriend of 6 months (46M) and his kids (5 and 7) to join us.

He declined, saying he didn’t feel comfortable leaving his kids to sleep at my place since they hadn’t stayed there before.

He also didn’t like the idea of putting them to bed at my place while he stayed outside with me, or going to bed with them while I stayed outside.

I told him I understood completely and didn’t have a problem with him choosing not to come.

But then he got upset and said that he and his kids weren’t actually welcome at the party because of the way the party was set up.

It all ended in a huge argument.

I explained that this party has been running for years with the same format, and it’s not really something I can or want to change for one guest. I believe guests can decide if the event works for them, and if not, they don’t have to come.

In his opinion, I should have left the party with him and our kids when it was bedtime.

On top of that, during the party, I didn’t have time to call him because I wanted to focus on my guests and enjoy the evening. He was very hurt by this, too, saying I should have made time.

This all turned into a big argument.

So, now I don’t know if I’m wrong for not changing the setup of a tradition (and for not calling during the party) to accommodate my boyfriend and his kids.

AITA?

Yikes! It’s easy to see both sides of this, but surely they could’ve come up with a solution.

Let’s see what the people over at Reddit think about it.

For this reader, she should rethink even being with him.

Here’s someone who thinks he’s asking way too much.

Yet another reader who thinks this is a bad look for him.

According to this comment, he has control issues.

It’s time for a serious chat.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.