It can be very frustrating when someone asks you for help with something and then they refuse to accept your advice.

What would you do if your boyfriend asked you to cut his hair and help him to get a good style, but then he got mad that it was too long and he refused to actually style it?

That is what happened to the girlfriend in this story, so she got upset and yelled at him about it and now she feels bad.

AITA for snapping at my husband for the haircut he asked me for?

I, 24f, am married to 23m, let’s call him “Adam”.

Opposites attract can be fun, but also comes with many challenges.

Though very happily married, we are definitely the stereotypical opposites attract couple and both neurodivergent.

I am more the academic type and a musician / music teacher for work. He’s the standard blue collar country boy.

Some people don’t like taking forever getting ready.

Here’s where I get into the main issue: I do longer self care and beauty routines, and have extremely long curly hair.

He also has curly hair but HATES doing anything for his appearance other than soap in the shower, literally, to his own aesthetic detriment.

For example, he has dry visibly flaky skin but won’t moisturize unless I ask him to. Do I care how he looks? No.

Oh, if he cares about it, he should fix it.

But HE does, and is very insecure, and always complains but never wants to put in any effort.

Now we get to the reason I made a post.

Different styles look good on different people.

Because of the spots he’s balding and the curls, he really looks better with hair that’s a little longer on top.

Not super long, but enough that you can sweep it to the side for coverage.

He likes his hair buzz cut short. So I fade the sides and keep the top a little longer for a happy medium.

He has to style his hair if he wants it to look good.

The real problem is that he NEVER STYLES HIS HAIR.

He expects his haircut to be the only factor in how good it looks, then gets frustrated when his bangs hang down or the sides stick up.

If he literally just brushed it then used a product for hold like gel, that would do it.

Does he like it when she takes care of him?

Now here’s where I may be the jerk. Because I’m telling you, if I left this man to his own devices, it would be detrimental.

But again- let me emphasize- he didn’t care about his appearance, neither would I.

She is really putting a lot of effort into this.

So, when cut his hair today, I spent a while researching the best cut we’d both like and I spent so much time on it at first.

Then when I used scissors to trim the top instead of the razor he stopped me and started arguing that it should be shorter.

She does seem willing to compromise.

I offered to make it shorter afterward if he’d let me just finish and show him my idea. He starts pulling on random hairs to show how long they are and begs me to chop them all off.

So FINE. I cut it way shorter than I ever wanted to, and he still insisted it was too long (I’m talking max 2 inch length.) After he washed his hair I tried to help him to style it, but I got angry and frustrated.

He has the worst of both worlds.

His hair was now too short to style, but too long to lay properly. I got more and more angry, and probably aggressive with my movements and had to stop fixing his hair.

He asked why I could get so angry at him and said he could do his hair himself if it bothered me so much.

I get why she was frustrated, but loosing your cool is never a good thing.

I snapped at him and said, “If you’re having hair is such a bother to you, I apparently have to do all the work for you, so you don’t get tired of it, and maybe I won’t have to cut it all off next time.”

Now I went to the treadmill to walk off some frustration. I feel a bit better but this is awful and I know I hurt his feelings.

AITA?

She is absolutely right for her position on his hair and she should just let him deal with it himself.

She should, however, apologize for yelling at him about it.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

Just let him go to a professional barber.

Yup, let him do his own thing.

He won’t change, so stop helping.

This commenter has it right.

This seems like a great policy.

Don’t ask for help and then refuse the advice.

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