Blended families can be difficult, but it is important to do everything you can to make all the kids feel loved and accepted.

What would you do if your dad and his new wife were always talking bad about your maternal grandparents, even though the grandparents were great to you?

That is what happened to the daughter in this story, so when her dad gave her a choice about where to live, he ended up upset at her decision.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for choosing my maternal family over my blended family?

My mom died when I (16) was a baby.

When I was 4.5 my dad remarried my stepmom and her and my stepsister (same age as me) moved in with us.

Trying to integrate a blended family is important.

After my dad remarried he told my maternal family that they had to treat my stepsister like a grandchild/niece/cousin or they wouldn’t get to see me.

And they refused so dad stopped them seeing me for a while, which gave them a case to take to court and they were given court appointed visitation with me because it was considered in my best interest.

It wasn’t a lot of contact but I used to love getting to see and spend time with them.

Honestly, they should have made an effort to bring their step-granddaughter into the family. Even if they wouldn’t treat her exactly the same.

It always caused trouble with my dad and stepmom and my stepsister because they didn’t think it was fair.

My dad used to badmouth my maternal family all the time to me.

He told me they were tiny people who couldn’t open their hearts and homes to another grandchild and he said that was wrong because blood doesn’t make a family and they should have accepted anyone from his family into theirs.

These parents seem to only accept relationships on their terms, which is not good.

After a couple of years my dad and stepmom both tried to reconcile with their own families but it didn’t work out.

My stepsister didn’t know her dad’s family and because of that I was told it was cruel to keep the relationship with my extended family when she wasn’t included.

My stepmom tried to adopt me a few times and she told me I was hers as much as my stepsister and we’d all be one family if we adopted each other.

She should not be obligated to go through adoption if she doesn’t want to.

I wasn’t on board and I found out a few months ago adoption was mentioned because it would have ended all visits between me and my maternal family.

Things only got worse when my half sister was born and my dad tried to fight the visitation order.

He even tried to move us but they couldn’t secure jobs or a home for us in any of the states where the visitation would be ignored.

It is nice that her maternal grandparents obviously love her. Why does dad want to end that?

They did try moving us a few hours away but it just meant actual overnights with my grandparents.

Last Christmas things got a lot more troubled because my grandparents bought me a car and my dad was furious because I left it at my grandparents house.

Right or wrong, they didn’t buy the car for the step-sister, so she shouldn’t get to drive it.

He and my stepmom wanted my sister and I to share it and I told them there was no way that was happening.

Then my half sister had a recital that fell on an already planned overnight with my grandparents and I refused to change the date to be at the recital.

My stepsister complained that she had to be there but not me, which I was blamed for her attitude toward our half sister.

It is so sad that there is so much conflict in this family.

On another visitation overnight my grandparents took me and some friends to a concert and my stepsister was going with her friends but ended up having to call my stepmom to pick her up.

My grandparents wouldn’t take her with us and even though my stepsister had already called her mom to come and get her it was like my grandparents were the most evil ever for saying no.

This type of ultimatum is never a good idea.

When I got back to dad’s house I was told I had to make a decision and choose who mattered more my blended family or my maternal family.

And I said my maternal family.

So, dad and my stepmom told my grandparents to come take me to live with them since I had chosen them.

I am sure this whole situation was heartbreaking for the young woman at the time.

They didn’t think my grandparents would actually come but they did and they made sure they got my birth certificate and other stuff before we left.

My dad’s still angry that I chose my maternal family and he says he can’t believe I would choose them over my immediate family as he called it.

Yup, he is the one that pushed her away.

I told him they never spoke bad about him or my blended family like they did all my immediate family. Even kid cousins who are literally younger than me!!

My stepmom left me a voice message where she was crying that I shouldn’t have left, she misses me and feels like she lost a child and how I should come back and all will be okay.

When I didn’t call her back she left an angry one saying I’m a cold hearted person to not say anything or even reassure her that I still love her.

AITA?

Sadly, these parents pushed their daughter away and are now hurt that she wanted to go where she was loved.

It is a terrible situation, but they really did it to themselves.

Let’s see what the people in the comments on Reddit have to say.

I can’t imagine why they would do that.

Yup, dad really failed her.

This commenter has a really good idea.

She won’t miss the constant manipulation.

Her life will be better, even if this is sad.

If you push someone away, don’t be surprised when they leave.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.