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Some kids are simply closer to one parent than the other.
This woman had always tried to include her stepdaughter’s mom in all their events.
But the mom had always been rude and negative each time.
So, on her stepdaughter’s birthday dinner, the mom was uninvited.
But her stepdaughter would rather spend her birthday with her mom than go to dinner.
Read the full story below for all the details.
AITA for not allowing my stepdaughter’s mom to attend her birthday dinner (and canceling it altogether)?
Every year in our family, we celebrate birthdays by taking the birthday person out to dinner wherever they want to go.
This year, my stepdaughter (17F) wanted her mom to come along.
In the past, we have allowed her mom to attend events we’ve hosted.
Every single time, she has been rude and dismissive.
And on some occasions, she has even made negative comments about me to others.
This woman stopped inviting her stepdaughter’s mom to their events.
Meanwhile, she hosts events for the kids and has never once invited us.
Despite that, we’ve continued to extend the invitation to her.
The last straw was when she told someone she wishes something would happen to me.
After that, we stopped inviting her.
We don’t want someone at an event we’re hosting if they have so much hate for us.
And they are only going to bring negativity and badmouth us.
The stepdaughter is upset that her mom couldn’t be there for her birthday celebration last year.
Last year, we hosted my stepdaughter’s birthday a week early so she could spend her actual birthday with her mom.
Still, she was upset that her mom couldn’t come to our celebration.
She tells us herself how her mom constantly talks badly about us.
But when it comes down to it, she still wants her mom included in our events but never the other way around.
Stepdaughter said she’d rather spend her birthday with her mom this year.
Now, after already celebrating with her mom yesterday, she asked if her mom could also come to today’s birthday dinner.
When we said no, she told us she’d rather spend her actual birthday with her mom instead of coming to dinner with us.
My husband is really hurt because he feels like she’s treating him as “second best.”
And he feels that she’s holding us to a standard she doesn’t hold her mom to.
So this woman and her husband feel hurt.
I understand that kids often give the less involved parent a pass while holding the more present parent to higher expectations.
But it’s exhausting and honestly painful to feel.
Like no matter what we do, we’re always second fiddle.
We’ve done almost everything for the kids while their mom does the bare minimum.
But she gets the praise, and we’re made to feel like the bad guys.
So now, we’re contemplating not having the birthday dinner at all this year. AITA?
Let’s read the reactions of other users to this story.
Stop trying to please the girl, says this one.
This person gives their honest opinion.
Here’s a valid point from this user.
This one offers some honest advice.
And lastly, people are siding with her and her husband.
Maintaining boundaries is crucial when dealing with teenagers.
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