Going through a serious accident that leaves you paralyzed is something that you may never fully recover from.

What would you do if your in-laws were initially very helpful, but over the years they stopped helping, and even joke around about your disability?

That is what happened to the man in this story, so he is wondering if he is wrong for still expecting his in-laws to accommodate him. Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for telling my in-laws to accommodate my disability?

For context, me and my wife have been married for 6 years now and midway I suffered from a crash that both me and my cousin were involved in, though it was me who had the most injury.

As a result, I’m completely paralyzed waist down.

I guess for more info, technically my hip/upper thigh area is still mobile so i can crawl around but my legs further than that, are completely paralyzed.

Something like this changes everything in life.

This crash, also, happened a year and a half after our marriage? Maybe two years after but I haven’t kept track exactly.

Anyway, my in-laws had helped a lot initially!

They were very empathetic to my situation and heart broken when everything happened and were there for me and my wife when we needed it.

Since it’s been over three years since the crash, I’ve been accustomed to going around in a wheelchair and sometimes crutches (if that’s what they’re called?)

What additional help does he need at this point?

While they were very helpful initially, I feel like it’s died down these past months (like 6-7) Like while they are aware of my disability, they don’t give me any additional support or help which, on one hand I understand might mean that they believe I should navigate some things myself to build resilience and independence, but on the other hand, I feel like is just uncaring and inconsiderate.

For example, they don’t help me get up the stairs of my wife’s family’s house anymore.

They have three steps up to the door, and they do have a wooden railing which makes it easier but it’s still hard on a wheelchair, and they don’t really give me a hand anymore.

I’m sure they can’t help forever.

They did help me with physical therapy initially, which I didn’t expect of them btw, but that’s also stopped.

They also make jokes about my disability sometimes, like me not being able to run, which does dig into my insecurities but I understand that jokes are just jokes sometimes.

Anyway, I did speak up about this one day when i was struggling on the stairs and they just laughed it off, so I think they thought I was joking? I don’t know.

If he needs help with something, he should communicate it clearly.

I really don’t want to make them look like bad people, because they’re very nice and supportive to me and my wife but I simply don’t understand why they aren’t more accommodating to me. Am I wrong to expect that?

Also, I don’t know my biological parents but after adulthood, my foster parents and I grew apart so I don’t expect anything from them but because I know my wives family closely, I did expect this and I wonder if I’m wrong for expecting it.

AITA?

It really sounds like this is just miscommunication.

The family likely thinks they are making sure they aren’t overbearing and allowing him independence, and he thinks he still needs help.

A frank conversation is needed.

Let’s see what the people in the comments on Reddit have to say.

Everyone shares the blame here according to this commenter.

This person says they shouldn’t go to the in-laws.

The wife should be taking a more active role here.

I agree with this commenter.

I think this would be the best thing.

This family needs a lesson in clear communication.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.