I think it’s safe to say that the dad you’re about to hear from in this story from Reddit’s “Am I the *******?” page has had just about enough of his wife’s antics.

He wants his twin sons to go away to college and she’s doing everything in her power to discourage them from doing so.

Is he wrong for how he handled this situation?

Get all the details below!

AITA for taking my (50M) kids (17M) to a uni open day behind my wife’s (51F) back?

“Let me preface this by saying that my wife does absolutely not want our kids to go to university.

Unlike other parents with kids our age who are counting down the days, my wife is the complete opposite. She is counting down the same way someone on Death Row might count down to their execution, or someone would count down a visit to the in-laws.

I don’t know why this is.

This doesn’t sound healthy…

She has always been an overprotective parent and I suspected this was because it took us so long to conceive and our boys were our one and only shot, so maybe it’s worsening because they’re flying the nest.

On to the problem.

Our twin boys have started applying to unis, and uni open day visits are fast approaching. They have chosen universities which are quite far away (the closest is a 3 hour drive, the furthest 6).

I work shifts, and it wasn’t clear whether I would be able to swap (not so easy with the nature of my job) to be able to attend, so if I couldn’t, my wife agreed to take the boys with her sister. I was happy with this, and the first one was the previous weekend. It is a 4 hour drive each way, and originally I was unable to make it.

Uh oh…

A few days before she was due to take them, my wife started asking the boys at the dinner table whether they really needed to go and see the uni and cited a “cost/benefit analysis” of going.

When I asked her to explain what she meant (the cost is a tank of fuel – she had declined staying over), she was unable to give an answer beyond it was a “lot of time and effort for a few hours” and that they should really think if it was something they wanted to do.

Now, this is not the first time she has spoken down about university to my kids. As the time has come closer, she has been more discouraging of the idea than ever, encouraging them to look at apprenticeships or jobs instead.

She’s being manipulative.

If she has encouraged university, she has encouraged universities that are around 1 or 2 hours away and that would essentially necessitate staying at home. I could understand her reticence if the cost was going to put us in a precarious financial position.

That is not the case.

I am fortunate to earn a very good salary, and my wife likewise earns the same. I could also understand this if neither of us had gone to university, however we both did – and we both went miles away from home.

After dinner I asked her again what she meant. She again couldn’t give me an answer beyond she didn’t want to travel all that way for a few hours if it was going to be pointless.

I explained that the boys seeing where they would potentially be living, the area, the campus and facilities was by no means pointless and was the “benefit” of her “cost benefit analysis”.

She shrugged, changed the subject and left the room.

Call it a sixth sense or paranoia, I’m not sure, but an opportunity arose for me to swap my weekend shift, so, thinking ahead and wondering whether perhaps she was anxious about the journey, I did.

He saw a chance and he took it.

As the weekend drew closer, my wife started feeling unwell. On the day of the trip, she complained of a headache and lethargy. Now, I know I am probably in the wrong for the next part. But, I left her in bed, waited until she had fallen back asleep, wrote a note, and took the boys to the university myself.

When we got back in the late evening, she was waiting up and furious. She said I betrayed her, went “behind her back” (I’m not sure how – in my mind, I took them in place of what was already happening anyway) and she could no longer trust me around our kids, or trust me full stop.

This was a week ago, and I am still staying at my siblings because she currently won’t allow me in our house.

However, I feel the whole thing is blown way out of proportion and I need to start thinking about next steps. I’d appreciate input as to whether I need to make this right.

AITA for taking my boys to a university when my wife didn’t want to?”

Now check out what folks had to say on Reddit.

This person shared their thoughts.

Another individual weighed in.

This Reddit user spoke up.

Another individual said he’s NTA.

And this reader had a lot to say.

Welp, it sounds like these two need some couples counseling ASAP!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.