A 34-year-old nephrology resident with a cardiologist husband says she adores her 8- and 2-year-old boys but feels crushed by motherhood.

She’s exhausted, resentful of lost career time, and fantasizes about freedom, yet hates herself for not appreciating her healthy children.

Her confession has left her questioning whether even voicing regret makes her a bad mom.

Read on for the story.

I regret becoming a mom. AITA?

I am 34yo, doing my residency in nephrology and working as a doctor in a hemodialysis department. My husband is also a doctor, head of cardiology department.

We have 2 kids – 8 and 2. I love them. I swear by God, I do. But I was not cut out to be a mother.

I lack patience, I can’t get them to listen to me. I hate always having to change my schedule when they get a viral infection.

I hate not having time to myself.

That’s a lot of things to hate.

I hate that I stay with my husband mostly because I can’t deal with the kids on my own – and I mean financially, timewise, emotionally, etc.

I hate that I screwed up my career for family.

There are many days when I wish I could just pack a bag, leave and never come back cause I want freedom.

How sad.

It sound like I don’t love them. I do, trust me, I do. I would die for them, I would murder for them.

I want them to be happy, seeing them in tears breaks my heart. But I hate my life.

There are many moments when I think what it would be like to be single and child free, doing what I want, living where I want.

Wow.

It was not that bad when I had one kid. But ever since my youngest was born, my life is a cage.

And I know I should be grateful I have 2 healthy, smart, beautiful boys. I see and know so many people who have sick children or have lost a child, and I rationally know I am so lucky.

I also have friends struggling with infertility.I hate myself for not appreciating what I have. AITA?

Most people agreed she isn’t the AH—feeling overwhelmed, mourning a lost identity, and admitting regret doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her kids; it means she’s human and needs support.

This person says motherhood is HARD, and we shouldn’t feel ashamed.

This person says it’s a matter of being overwhelmed.

And this person thinks it’s all about the father’s involvement (or lack thereof).

Loving your children and hating your life aren’t opposites—they’re often signs of a parent running on empty.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.