Sometimes, it can be the smallest things that start the biggest arguments.

For this guy, his girlfriend is pretty upset at him for how he talked to her about his new business idea.

He’s turned to Reddit to find out if he did something wrong and how he can make it better.

Here’s the full story…

AITA for telling my [28M] girlfriend [24F] that “If anything, I expect you to pass on this” casually

I am honestly just looking to understand if I am emotionally dumb.

Context: Total 5 people in the group. Me, my GF, and our 3 friends B, C and D. C and D are also dating.

I came up with a small business idea that I pitched to my GF and to B. Both of them liked it.

Seems promising…

Later, I was talking to gf on call:

Me: “So, I’ll also have to ask C and D about what they think of the idea too but I am sure they will be onboard”

GF: “Why are so sure they will just accept and join your business idea without a doubt?”

Me: (This is the part that upset her) “Haha, I just know. They will not say no. If anything, I would expect you to say no first, but not them!”

My pov of my gf:

My gf is a very reserved person who prefers to sleep and wake up on time.

Joining a business that would require her to be available for calls, moving around in cab etc. would impact her personal life a lot.

I have rarely seen her overwork.

So, this is where the conflict comes in…

I have seen her being passionate about raising a family, being a mother, but never seen her mention anything about wanting to own a business, or wanting to make a lot of money, or investing etc in general.

She’s interested in philosophy, fiction, family and movies.

My pov of my other friends:

B and C have mentioned countless times to me that “I wish to quit my job and start something of my own”.

I’ve seen C and D overwork late nights. Way too active at work, and have been extremely passionate about it.

C has immense knowledge of how businesses work and is well read in these things.

Based on everything I mentioned above, I made that statement casually thinking that “Oh, I know that my idea is sound, so C will obviously agree.”

D is kind of someone who wouldn’t want to miss out on something like this.

Seems like the whole group is on board.

However, my GF, given her reserved and disciplined lifestyle, might not want to be part of a full fledged startup where she might have to attend calls regularly and travel around for logistical work occasionally.

Her pov:
She took it somewhat like “I am hurt that you think that your friends would be willing to do this for you, but not your own GF”.

She was really upset. She cussed, screamed, and cried a lot.

A few statements she made:

“The fact that such a major decision in your life, you’re fine with me not taking part in it is making me upset”

(I would’ve obviously convinced her to join – but enough friction and I would honestly not ask further, because at the end of the day, if she doesn’t want to do it, I am OK with that. I would LOVE it if she’s there obviously).

“I am upset because you think that it is ok for me to say no if you ask me to be a business partner in your idea! You’re pretty chill about it, like okay, not like you’re bothered or anything by it”.

Now he’s confused…

What I said, was it really in bad taste? Was it tone deaf?

IF what I said was bad, did it warrant a reaction like that?

IF it did, what should I have done? Not mentioned that at all? Is there a better way to put it?

Reddit commenters chimed in to help him with this conflict, let’s see what they said.

This person thinks the boyfriend is in the wrong.

While this commenter thinks the girlfriend is wrong!

Some commenters had more to say about his overall approach.

And others had business advice to give.

It’s usually best to never mix business with pleasure, and this situation makes it clearer than ever!

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.