Big parties can bring out both excitement and dread, especially for people who prefer quiet nights to crowded dance floors.

When her best friend planned a massive birthday bash with over a hundred guests, one introverted woman couldn’t shake the fear she’d spend the night invisible in a room full of strangers.

The question remained: should she go to make her friend happy, or skip out and prioritize her own comfort?

You’ll want to keep reading for this one.

AITA if i don’t want to go to my best friend’s birthday party

First of all, I really love celebrating my friends’ birthdays.

Although I’m more of an introvert—shy and not that talkative (at first)—I like meeting new people and talking to people I vibe with.

But when her friend started planning a big party with a bunch of people she didn’t know, it began to fill her with dread.

My (23F) best friend is having her 24th birthday party in three weeks. She has rented out a club and invited all her friends and their whole friend groups. So, there will be more than 110 people there. (She’s super outgoing and has lots of acquaintances.)

The thing is, I don’t know or haven’t even met most of the guests, and I don’t get on well with the ones I know from high school. I wasn’t in that friend group, we never talked much, and it always seemed like they didn’t like me either.

She begins contemplating all the ways this could go horribly wrong.

In other cases, I would find someone to talk to, but it would be impossible this time because of the loud music.

Also, since everybody will be there with their own friend groups, they probably wouldn’t include me.

I also don’t like clubbing and dancing, especially with strangers.

The only person I know and like is my best friend, but she won’t be next to me all night—and I don’t expect her to be.

She begins to wonder whether she should just skip out on the party altogether, but she’s worried about what it could do to their friendship.

It just feels so unnecessary for me to be there, standing alone all night. And honestly, it wouldn’t make a difference if I wasn’t there, because more than 100 people are going anyway.

I don’t want to be a bad friend.

I know this should be all about her, not me, but I feel so anxious and uncomfortable every time I think about going to her party—and I don’t know what to do.

AITA?

Ultimately, this woman is torn between loyalty and self-preservation.

What did Reddit think?

This user doesn’t quite agree with this woman’s point of view.

If she truly cares about her friend, then showing up is the right thing to do.

Showing up even though you’re uncomfortable is just part of life.

There may be a fair compromise here that could make everyone happy.

Being a good friend means showing up for those we love, even if it means showing up uncomfortable.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.