Kids grow up fast, and with that comes a stronger sense of independence, especially when it comes to birthdays.

So, what would you do if your preteen daughter wanted a more mature celebration and didn’t want her younger cousin tagging along?

Would you invite the cousin anyway? Or would you respect her wishes, even if it meant upsetting your family?

In the following story, one mother grapples with this exact decision and is looking for advice.

Here’s what’s going on.

My 11 year old does not want her little cousin at her birthday party. What do I do?

My daughter is turning 11 this year and does not want her younger cousin, 6, to attend her birthday party.

She only wants her closest 10 friends to participate in a nail spa party where the girls’ ages range from 11 to 13.

My mother was mad at me and my daughter when I told her that my daughter did not want her little cousin trying to get the attention and annoying her friends.

The main problem is the little girl’s behavior.

I talked to my mother-in-law, who said it was my daughter’s party and that only the people my daughter wanted should be invited.

I spoke to my sister, the little girl’s mother, who said her daughter would love to go, and it’s wrong that she would be excluded; she likes hair, nails, and makeup.

The problem is that my sister whines at her daughter when she misbehaves. She is very hyperactive (ADHD) and is not the nicest person in the world when she does not get her way.

Now, her family is trying to guilt-trip her.

She will try to push herself into the spotlight on my daughter’s birthday, and my parents and sister think that because she is the youngest child in our family, everyone should give her what she wants and include her in everything.

Whenever I try to explain that my daughter is much older than the little girl, and she does not always want her to be around or be forced to play with her, my mother tries to gaslight me by saying that when my daughter was younger, the older cousins were made to play with her.

My daughter had a cousin 11 months younger than her, who moved away over the summer.

AITA?

Eek! It’s easy to see both sides of this, but if the birthday girl doesn’t want her invited, that should mean something.

Let’s check out what the readers over at Reddit think about this situation.

This person offers something to think about.

Here’s someone who would keep it short and sweet.

According to this reader, she needs to stand up for herself.

As this comment explains, how the daughter was treated by her cousins is irrelevant.

Her daughter should choose who’s invited, and the family should respect that.

It’s her birthday, so she should spend it how she wants.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.