Family doesn’t always mean the same thing to everyone, especially when the people who share your DNA weren’t really there when it mattered.

So, what would you do if the parents who abandoned you suddenly moved back into your life and wanted you to “bond” with the younger siblings you barely know by babysitting them? Would you see it as a chance at family and help? Or would you draw a line and keep your distance?

In the following story, one teenager finds himself in this exact situation and is unsure how to feel. Here’s what’s going on.

AITAH for passing up the chance for sibling relationships even if it comes from me babysitting them?

My grandparents raised me (17m) and I still live with them. Contact with my biological parents has been low most of my life. I saw them maybe 5 times in 16 years, and talked to them on the phone like twice(?)

They moved closer to the rest of my bio mom’s family, who are the family I grew up with.

They came back loaded down with 4 kids, and they tried to make their relationship with me something that it wasn’t. It was like OMG, you’re our firstborn, and we love you, miss you, and want to get to know you better.

Recently, his biological family moved closer to him.

They wanted the whole family to act like they didn’t abandon me and treat my grandparents like crap for standing up for me and refusing to let them stay here for free whenever they felt like it.

My grandparents told them I deserved a home with stability, and where I didn’t have strangers sleeping under the same roof as me. That was during the 5 visits in 16 years.

My grandparents did want to know their other grandkids. They don’t babysit them or anything like that but they stop by my bios house to see the kids. Aunts and uncles are different levels of involved but none are super close.

His parents tried to reason with him.

I’m the least involved and haven’t spent real time with the kids or my bios since they moved here a year ago. They’re technically my siblings but I see it as we’re related by blood that way but we’re not ever going to be real siblings. Their parents made me and dumped me and that’s it.

My bios asked if I’d like to babysit for an hour here and there, and increase it to get time with the kids without them around, since I turned down a relationship with them every chance I got. I said no.

They were like, “Don’t punish the kids because you hate us.”

When his parents started pushing, his grandparents stepped in to help.

I told them nobody was being punished. They argued that the kids and I should be siblings and that it would be good for all of us in the future. My grandparents told them to quit.

Then my bio dad brought it up when my grandparents had some of their siblings visit, and some of their siblings were like, “Oh, you shouldn’t pass up the chance to have siblings,” and how I’ll regret my decision.

My grandparents told them nobody should be forced into it, and they made my bios leave.

Now, he’s unsure what to do because his great aunt got into his head.

One of my grandma’s sisters told me that when my grandparents weren’t around, I couldn’t ever take back not getting to know them, and she said it’s hypocritical of me to love my grandparents for raising me, but I won’t get to know my bio siblings.

She said I might not like their parents, but I could love the kids anyway and forge lifelong relationships with them. She said passing up the chance is not something old me will forgive myself for.

I didn’t tell my grandparents. And I hate that she got into my head so much. I really don’t want to be more than just siblings by blood with these kids.

AITA?

Wow! Situations like these are always pretty hard to navigate.

Let’s check out what kind of advice the folks over at Reddit have to offer him.

Here’s someone who suggests he get into therapy ASAP.

According to this person, the parents just want free babysitting.

This reader gives some good insight.

That’s a good way to look at it.

He should take the time to think. But he should also consider that his siblings are guilty by association and may not be that bad.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a customer who insists that their credit card works, and finds out that isn’t the case.