Teenage Boy Doesn’t Think Of His Stepmother As A Parent, But His Dad Wants Him To Try To Change That

Jayne Elliott

3 months ago

Shutterstock/Reddit

Imagine losing your mom at a young age and your dad remarries. If you liked your stepmom well enough, would you call her “mom” and think of her as a parent, or would you keep her at a distance and refuse to ever think of her as a parent?

In this story, one teenage boy is in this situation, and he does not think of his stepmother as a parent. This hurts her feelings, and it makes him wonder if he’s wrong for how he feels.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for not treating my stepmother like a parent?

My dad married my stepmother 3 years ago.

I (16M) get along fine with her but not in a you’re my new mom kind of way. Not even in a you’re someone I really love. More in like a you’re okay to have around kind of way.

My dad and stepmother were hoping for a lot more from my relationship with her and she looks at me like I’m her son and she tries to fill in the role of my mom who died when I was 8.

But I don’t see her in that way.

They’re really pressuring him to think of her like a mom.

I call her my stepmother or by her first name which is most of the time I just say her name.

She told me I could call her ma or mama if I didn’t want to use mom.

But I told her I didn’t want to use those kinds of names either.

My dad asked me if I could use something similar and look up mom in a bunch of different languages and I said no.

It was let go sorta but she tries to use mama for herself so I might pick it up and that’s annoying.

He feels more comfortable asking his dad for help than his stepmom.

And now they’re annoyed with me and I don’t know if I’m TA for this.

When it comes to parenty stuff I go to my dad. Need something signed? Dad. Need permission for something? Dad. Something happens at school and someone needs to come and get me? Dad.

I don’t go to my stepmother for that stuff.

I don’t ask her for rides or money either. If I need something like that I ask my dad.

A missing “s” really made a big difference.

It’s bothering them more because my school has a parent portal that has like a student page where grades and other stuff can be looked at. When they were doing mine they asked if it was parents or grandparents or whatever and I said parent, like just one.

I guess my dad and stepmother never opened my actual page before because she only saw the parent without the s a few weeks ago and she was hurt and then annoyed and she told my dad and they were both annoyed.

And just so I’m clear they can see my grades without the whole page and they have checked my grades before.

They’re never going to see eye to eye on this.

I was asked why it only mentioned parent and not parents and how come I don’t ever treat my stepmother like she’s my parent.

I told them because to me she isn’t.

And they said she wants to be.

And I told them I don’t want her to be.

He doesn’t want to go to therapy.

My dad told me it really hurts her feelings to not be treated like a parent. He said getting along but not being close and being treated as something other than a parent makes her feel bad and he told me I could have more than two parents in my life and I should be rushing for it with both arms open.

A couple of weeks later my stepmother asked me if I’d be willing to work in family therapy to find her spot as a parent in my life and to try and work toward that.

I said I wasn’t okay with working toward that and she stormed off and now they’re in this constant state of annoyance and I spend less time at home because of it.

They feel bad, but that’s not his problem.

But they clearly want me to feel bad for it and I just don’t.

I don’t see why she has to be my parent. I don’t see why she can’t be cool with us getting along fine.

AITA?

She is his stepmom, not his mom. He had a mom, and it makes sense that he’s never going to let someone fill that spot in his heart. His stepmom needs to backoff or she”ll push him away.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This is kind of weird.