Sometimes the hardest part about drama is being expected to apologize for something you didn’t even do.

So, what would you do if your in-laws suddenly decided you weren’t welcome at a milestone family event because one aunt claimed you said something awful years ago, but it never happened?

Would you apologize to make your husband happy? Or would you refuse to take the blame for someone else’s misunderstanding?

In the following story, one woman faces this exact dilemma and can’t just move on and let it go.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for not wanting to apologize for something I didn’t do

My (47f) husband’s (41m) Grandmother’s 90th birthday is this weekend. There is a big party planned with the whole (huge) family coming, some from out of the province.

Yesterday, one of my husband’s Aunts (by marriage), we will call her “B,” called him and, after beating around the bush, said, “We have a little problem. Your Grandma would prefer it if your wife (me) didn’t come to the party, but we hope that you will still come.”

My husband was confused and questioned B as to what and why, but she was vague and said she wasn’t sure.

Come to find out, it was his other aunt.

This aunt is a known troublemaker who likes to stir things up, so my husband calls Grandma. Grandma, as expected, has no idea what B is talking about, and my husband thinks this is the end of the issue. So much so, that he didn’t immediately tell me about the whole thing.

Today, a different aunt, we will call her “S,” calls my husband and says that it is actually she who would rather I didn’t come, and that she was “irked” by something I did.

My husband was shocked because S and I have always gotten along, and he was sincerely confused as to what was going on.

S had been holding this in for a few years.

Apparently, her problem came after my husband’s mother (S’s sister, Grandma’s daughter) passed away unexpectedly two years ago, and this was the last time I saw S.

Turns out that S has been holding a grudge for something she “overheard” at a family gathering right after my MIL’s funeral.

To be fair, S was grieving, and had been drinking….but what she thinks she heard has no basis in reality, and my husband told her this.

Everything is better, but her husband thinks she should apologize to S.

I don’t drink, and although I don’t remember every conversation I had that night verbatim, I know that I didn’t sit there “bickering over who was going to get MIL’s expensive blender with someone.”

My husband had my back, explaining to S how much his mother meant to me, and that is not who I am as a person, and I would never say what she thinks she heard, and apparently, the call ended on good terms.

HOWEVER… my husband would like me to reach out to S and apologize for any misunderstandings, and smooth things over.

At this point, she’s hurt and doesn’t want to go.

I am hurt and angry that the family I have been a part of for 19 years would A) think so little of me to believe I would do this and say these things, and B) un-invite me to a family gathering, but still want my husband to go.

I don’t feel that I should have to apologize for anything, and I don’t want to go to the party, as this is my husband’s grandmother’s day, and I don’t want to potentially distract from that in any way.

My husband is also angry at B and S but thinks I am wrong for not wanting to even go to the party or “clearing the air” with S. He says he will not go to the party if I don’t.

AITA?

Yikes! This all sounds very petty, but no wonder her feelings are hurt.

Let’s see what the readers over at Reddit have to say about it.

For this person, the husband has it wrong.

Here’s an excellent point.

Yet another person who thinks the husband is wrong.

According to this person, she should act as if none of it happened.

She should go to the party! Grandma is turning 90, so it’s best to spend all the birthdays they can with her.

If you liked that post, check this one about a guy who got revenge on his condo by making his own Christmas light rules.