Have you ever had a family member in your life who got mad at you no matter what you did to the point where it feels like no matter how hard you try it doesn’t matter?

In this story, one young woman seems to feel that way about her dad. He complains about so many things she does. Even when she’s doing something helpful, he doesn’t think it’s good enough.

She recently snapped at her dad, and she’s wondering if she overreacted, or if she’s in the right.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for saying “you have arms and legs, you can clean your room” to my father

Yesterday I (23F) argued with my dad (57M) over a basic thing.

My parents were out of town for 13 days and I was alone in the house minding my own business.

I cooked and cleaned for myself and took care of the house. I kept it tidy and clean and did the usual housework my mom does (the laundry, vacuuming, buying groceries and basic housecare stuff). I didnt want to spend to much time on housework.

I am a new-graduate and looking for a job in the meantime.

She did some more cleaning before they got home.

Hours before they both arrived I vacuumed the kitchen, corridor, my own room and left two rooms (particularly my dad’s home office, and the living room).

Since I didnt step in there and before they went out of town, me and my mom already did a whole house cleaning.

They came back and we ate the dinner I made the day before.

Everything was going well while I talked about my days alone I said “I did clean the corridors and the kitchen”.

But her dad didn’t let her finish.

My dad immediately cuts my words in half midway as I am still speaking and says “Why didnt you clean my room, its full of dirt and dust.”

At that point I remembered all the times I had been cut off midway like this and said “That room is your space you have arms and legs, you can clean it yourself.” Which was a rude saying but I wanted him to be hurt and remember this because he said stuff like that to me a lot growing up.

I just mirrored what he did back then. And I said this in a flat tone emotionless.

My mom never did this to me so my relationship with her is better.

Her dad seems to have a lot of negative things to say about her.

He always gets defensive over the things he did wrong when I point it out to him and want to talk.

He always thinks that as a daughter, I should do cleaning, do chores and when I dont want to one time, suddenly I am awful.

He says I am disrespectful for speaking up.

When I feel bad mentally or tired physically, he says “you are young, get over it.”

Her mom took her dad’s side.

He says that this isnt the case, but I talked about the issues that bothers me all the time in decent manners and he never seems to care or actually listen and thinks of me as a child despite the fact that I am 23 with more emotional intelligence than him.

My mom, when we talked about this issue, said that I lost my respect for my father and I shouldnt have said this.

But the truth is that I have talked about how disrespectful he acts towards me many times yet I am ruining the mood for treating him the same.

She has to me “If you laid low this wouldnt happen and you did this the day we arrived.” She also acts in the same manner as me whenever my dad steps in her boundaries.

She’s so over the way her dad treats her.

I keep finding myself guilty and apoligizing and I dont want to do this any longer.

I am drained and its my first time writing here.

I geniuely feel sick of not being understood by them all the time despite trying my best abilities and communicating (not that I hope anything will change).

All I ask is for them to see me as my own human being and not their child all the time. Is this exaggeration? Please enlighten me since I lost my spark to reignite this converstion.

She should move out. She’s an adult. She resents her parents for treating her like a child. She needs to get her own place.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

It’s different for her than it is for her mom.

Here’s a suggestion for malicious compliance.

This person calls her “a legend.”

I agree. She should move out.

Here’s one point of criticism about her intensions.

It seems impossible to please her dad.

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.