Woman Doesn’t Like The Way Her Mom’s Boyfriend Treats Her Mother, So She’s Unwilling To Let Him In Her House Ever Again

Jayne Elliott

1 month ago

Shutterstock/Reddit

It’s horrible when a relationship that seems perfect turns out to be quite toxic.

Imagine finding out that your mom’s boyfriend treats her pretty horribly. While he isn’t physically abusive, his words are very cruel.

Would you be willing to be nice to him for the sake of your mom, or would you refuse to have anything to do with him?

In this story, one woman is in this situation, and she has set a boundary. Now, she’s not sure if that was the right thing to do.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for telling my mom her boyfriend isn’t welcome to events anymore?

I, (28F) have recently told my mother her I will no longer be going out to see her at her home, where she and her boyfriend, let’s call him Fred, live, and he is no longer welcome to come here under any circumstance.

For context, my mom lives about an hour away, and with work schedules and all, we don’t see each other too often to start.

Now, she and “Fred”, have been together for about 6 years, and have lived together for about 5, and she made the move out of town to be with him.

Since myself and my younger brother were already grown and out of the house already, and she has been seeing him for a year already, they were making plans to move in together, but since his kids were younger, I believe 18 and 16 at the time, it made sense for her to move out there.

Fred seemed great at first.

We were all fond of Fred when she had introduced him, and after her long history with abusive relationships, he seemed like a great change, and we were happy for her.

My mom, relocating, didn’t know anyone out there other than Fred and his family, and since relocating had to start a new job.

Everything seemed fine until fast forward a year or so when his behavior started to change.

Fred sounds pretty cruel.

He is constantly accusing her of cheating (despite never doing so), always questioning her whereabouts, and even makes comments about her weight.

So over the years, I would get phone calls of her crying, and saying how she can’t do it anymore.

Her being my mother, I always tried to help, and even offered for her to stay with me and my family until she found something for herself.

But, he’d apologize , and all was forgiven.

This cycle has happened multiple times.

This has happened about a dozen times in the last 5 years, and always she forgives him, and everything is all dandy again.

Now, fast forward to a few weeks ago.

I got one of these phone calls, again, and so did my brother. This time seemed like it was it.

So myself, brother, sister in-law and my husband were making plans to get her out and to set her up back here in our town.

But the cycle repeated itself.

But low and behold, two days later, he apologized and everything was forgiven, again.

So my brother and I had said enough was enough, and if she was ever serious about leaving, we will 100% be there for her, and she is always welcome here to visit, but he is no longer welcome, since we cannot pretend to fake nice to a man who treats our mother like garbage.

I also have two young children who have started to ask why he says mean things to their grandma, and said I don’t want her to model that type of relationship to them.

Her mom didn’t take that well.

But she has sense said I’m being, quote “immature, mean, and that is uncalled for since he’s ‘trying””, and is telling other family members I’m trying to cut her out, when I have said she is still always welcome.

AITA for saying he cannot come anymore? Or should I just bare it for the sake of not losing my mother and the relationship with her grandkids?

I feel really bad for her mom. I wish she had left Fred for good that last time. I don’t blame her for cutting off Fred. Her mom needs to stop lying. She’s not cutting her off.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Here’s a suggestion of what to text her mother.