Relationships are all about compromise, right?

Well, at least that’s the way it’s SUPPOSED to be…

But it doesn’t always work out that way!

Take a look at what this Reddit user had to say and see if you think she’s being unreasonable when it comes. to her boyfriend and their finances.

AITA for wanting my boyfriend to contribute more after a big pay raise?

“I (26F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been together for 7 years, living together for most of that time.

Back in January, he got a really good job that bumped his salary up a lot. For context, last year we moved into our current place, which was a huge jump financially.

Our old place cost about £900 total a month, but it was honestly awful to live in, we were miserable and it really affected us mentally.

Now our monthly costs are around £1,800 (roughly £900 each) including rent, utilities, council tax, and a few finance plans like furniture we bought together. Around the same time, I switched jobs and my pay went from £24k to £26k.

They had an agreement.

When he was making £35k at his old job, we agreed that he’d pay a bit more toward rent (at our previous place) around £200 extra, since he was earning more.

A month or so after living in our new place, he tried going self-employed because in his field that can pay better, but work was super inconsistent.

There were months he couldn’t afford his half, and we ended up accumulating a large amount of arrears (not a huge deal now, but it’s part of the backstory). However, during this time we were paying equal amounts due to the increased prices.

His financial situation has changed.

Fast forward to this year he’s now on a £50k salary, bringing home around £3.5k a month (sometimes up to £5k with overtime). Naturally, I thought we’d go back to a setup where he contributes a bit more, like we did before, especially since I’m still scraping by each month.

But every time I bring it up, it turns into an argument. Some of the things he’s said when I’ve asked “You’ll just spend the extra money on yourself.” “We’re not married.” “We don’t have kids.” “My name’s not on the house.” And my personal favorite: “You didn’t finance a car in your name for me.” (A long story.)

It sounds like they have very different financial philosophies.

For context, he doesn’t save any money, he just kind of spends however he feels like. Meanwhile, I’m super cautious with money. I try to save something every month, even if it’s small, and most of my leftover money goes toward stuff for our home, dates, or future plans, not really on myself.

I just feel really frustrated and kind of resentful. If the roles were reversed, I’d absolutely help him out so he could relax a bit financially. But instead, I’m just barely getting by each month while he’s carefree with his spending.

We had quite a busy few months and recently bought a kitten, both of these things I didn’t have the funds for so I now owe him money but I don’t know how or when I’m going to be able to pay him back.

This has been going on for about 9 months now, and I’m honestly exhausted. It’s hard not to feel upset knowing he could easily make things a bit easier for both of us but chooses not to.

So… am I being unfair here?

Entitled?

Is it reasonable to expect that if one person’s income jumps significantly, the split should reflect that?

Or should I just deal with it as it is his money and he can decide what he wants to do with it? Please help!”

Let’s see what folks had to say on Reddit.

This person said she’s NTA.

Another individual agreed.

This Reddit user didn’t hold back.

Another person spoke up.

And this reader weighed in.

It sounds like these two are not on the same page at all when it comes to finances.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.