Well, this didn’t go over very well…

A man took to Reddit’s “Am I the *******?” page and asked readers if they thought he was wrong for not going on a cruise with his family after his mom didn’t include his fiancee in the plans.

Get all the details in the story below.

AITA 27M for standing up for my fiancee 27F and our relationship by refusing to go on a “family” trip that excludes her?

“I’m a 27M, and I’ve been with my fiancee 27F.

We’ve been living together for 3 years, and we’re getting married next June. My mom 59F wants to plan a cruise with just her, my dad 59M my brother 23M, and my sister 21F and exclude my fiancée.

He’s not cool with this.

I feel like this is a bit ridiculous, given how long we’ve been together and how integrated she is into our family.

My mom framed this trip as a “one last family vacation” before I get married, but to be honest, I feel like that ship sailed a while ago. I’ve long since moved out of my childhood family home and started my own life with my fiancée.

The dynamics have shifted, and I feel like this trip should have been planned before I moved out, not after I’ve already started my own family unit with my partner. It feels like my mom is trying to recreate a past dynamic that no longer exists, and I’m not comfortable with that. I also feel I’m more a family unit with my fiancee at this stage of the game than my parents and siblings.

When I mentioned this trip to my fiancée, she was understandably hurt and felt like my mom was putting me in a position to choose between them. I agree with her. My fiancée is my main priority now, and I don’t want to start our marriage off on the wrong foot by prioritizing my mom’s wishes over hers.

This didn’t go very well…

When I talked to my mom about it, she got highly defensive and said, “Oh, I forgot that when a son gets married, he is expected to pretty much abandon his family of origin and center his life around his fiancée/wife and what she wants.”

She also said, “God forbid a man considers his own mom’s feelings or that of his birth family for even 2 seconds once he’s in a serious relationship, he’s accused of being disloyal.” Then, she asked if this is my fiancée’s “influence,” which I found highly insulting, implying that I’m not thinking for myself or that we’re not a team.

What really got under my skin was when she said, “I feel like if the genders were reversed and this was a mom asking this of her daughter, it wouldn’t be framed as a betrayal to her fiancée if she went.”

He thinks his mom went too far.

I feel like this is a pretty inappropriate comment, and it implies that I’m supposed to be less of a partner or less committed to my fiancée just because I’m a man.

What’s even more surprising to me is how defensive my mom got about this. I would have thought she’d be more concerned about my fiancée’s feelings, given how close I thought we all were.

Instead, it feels like she’s prioritizing her own desires over my fiancée’s feelings, and that’s not sitting well with me.

I could be the ******* for telling my mom I’m not attending any family functions/vacations where my fiancee isn’t invited and this could make me the ******* because I’m not respecting my mom’s wishes.”

Reddit users shared their thoughts.

This person had a lot to say.

Another individual shared their thoughts.

This Reddit user said he’s NTA.

Another person agreed.

And this reader spoke up.

This was a pretty rude move by his mom…

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