Imagine planning your wedding. Would you plan it just the way you and your partner wanted it to be, or would you let family members influence your decisions?

In this story, one couple wants a very small wedding, but the groom’s sister feels personally hurt by their decisions. Now, his family is making him feel like the bad guy for having a small wedding and not the wedding his sister wants him to have.

Keep reading for all the details.

AITAH for saying I don’t care about my sister’s rejection sensitive dysphoria, and will be having my wedding the way I want it?

I know sometimes it might seem like the answer is obvious, but I am honestly asking for the truth because I am getting so much pressure from my family that it is becoming unbearable now.

I (M30) am newly engaged. My fiancée (F30) and I have been together for two years and we both feel ready for the next step.

We don’t want a big wedding. We both come from huge families and we don’t want to deal with the costs and the headache of planning a huge event.

They know exactly what they want.

Our plan is to go to city hall and sign the required papers.

We would invite my parents, my sister, my brother-in-law, my fiancée’s father and sister, and two of my friends (since they were the ones who set my me and my fiancée up).

After that we would all go out for dinner. We don’t want any other wedding stuff or any kind of reception.

He knows big weddings are stressful.

When my older sister got married three years ago I ended up being thankful I was stationed in another country (I was in the RCAF at the time).

She had a huge, expensive wedding which is normal in our family but watching it on a live stream was enough for me. I was getting a headache when I was hearing about the planning second hand.

My fiancée and don’t want that stress.

His sister wanted a role in their wedding.

I thought my family would have a problem with us not a having big wedding or only inviting my parents, sister and brother-in-law.

But my sister got upset because she wanted to be my fiancée’s maid of honour.

We aren’t even having a maid of honour/best man or wedding party at all. Even if we were, my fiancée would want her own sister to be maid of honour, not my sister.

My sister also thought she would get a special role in the wedding as ‘sister of the groom’ which isn’t a thing as far as I know. I’ve never seen it at any wedding I’ve ever gone to.

His sister takes rejection very, very hard.

For full disclosure, my sister has ADHD and with that she also has something called rejection sensitive dysphoria. She takes rejection really personally and even though my parents sent her to therapy before she still takes it hard when she thinks someone has rejected her, even if they haven’t really done that.

I told her my fiancée and I aren’t having wedding parties or a wedding where other people have a special role.

She feels rejected and now my parents, my brother-in-law and other people in my family are pressuring me to change my mind.

He just wants his wedding his way.

AITAH for telling my sister and everyone else that I don’t care if she feels rejected and won’t change a thing about the wedding?

It gets annoying to have everything revolve around my sister’s feelings all the time. I don’t think it’s wrong for me and my fiancée to want our wedding day to be about us. (Instead of giving my sister the role of maid of honour/groom’s sister and letting her be the center of attention like she wants).

My parents and my brother-in-law are the worst offenders and I ended up telling them (and everyone else who pressured me) that I’m done talking about this and to never bring it up again.

AITAH for this? I just want to have my wedding the way my fiancée and I want it. But my family has never gotten so upset at me about anything else before so I wonder if I overstepped.

He shouldn’t cave to his family’s requests. It’s too bad his sister is taking his wedding plans personally, but it’s his wedding, not hers.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

They could make the wedding even smaller.

They need to stop enabling her.

Someone with ADHD and RSD weighs in.

I don’t think his family realizes this.

His sister doesn’t get a say in his wedding.

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.