It goes without saying that (for most people, anyway), when you’re a child your needs are cared for by your parents, and they provide you with the love and support you need to thrive on the journey from infant to adult.

But as you get older, things change. As an adult, you might start to feel a reversal of these responsibilities, as you find yourself caring more and more for your ageing parents, especially toward the end of their lives.

For the woman in this story however, her in-laws are moving way too fast when it comes to expecting their children to take care of them.

Read on to find out why she finally had to put her foot down.

AITA for not wanting to pay for my in-laws’ retirement home?

My husband and I (both 45, male and female) moved far away from our families.

We have two kids on the spectrum and have created a good life for ourselves.

My family have always been helping financially, while his have never gave him/us a dime.

And recently, this discrepancy started to weigh heavily on her.

My mother- and father-in-law have built two houses, one for them and the other for their younger son (who stayed to live close to them). They also bought a car for him and raised/supported his kids.

I, on the other hand, did everything myself: raised the kids, homeschooled them, managed all the doctors, maintained the house… all so that my husband could build a career.

With my family’s money and his skills, he built a good business.

But now, fifteen years after we left, my mother- and father-in-law (both 65) say that they want to go to a retirement home.

Read on to see why she’s taken issue with this.

Besides being too young for this, they are also both very healthy and active.

They just feel like they’d enjoy being waited on and have somebody else clean, cook, and care for them – and they are expecting us to pay for this!

They could easily sell their house to pay for this, but they want to leave it to their younger son since he’s kind of a deadbeat.

My husband wants to commit to this (he’s sensitive to his mother’s wishes), but I am against it.

And she has good reason for opposing their plan.

The way I see it, they already gave the brother one house and nothing to us.

Moreover, they can afford to pay it from their house’s proceedings but they don’t want to – and they don’t even need to be in a retirement home!

The fact is, the deadbeat brother will quickly sell their house once they enter that retirement home, so they’d not be able to go back to their house.

Hence, they’ll be our obligation for the next twenty years down the road.

This really doesn’t sit right with her.

I am not ready to commit to this since our kids might need a lifetime of (money) support due to being on the spectrum, while my husband’s brother’s kids are fine.

Also, I don’t think this is fair to my parents, who gave us over half a million dollars over the last fifteen years without expecting anything in return.

Am I wrong for not wanting to pay for their retirement home?

AITA?

Given their relative youth, and the fact that they just want to go to a retirement home so they can be waited upon, it’s crazy that her in-laws are expecting their son and his wife to pay.

That’s like asking them to pay for them to stay in a hotel indefinitely, when they don’t need to be there and have the means to pay for it themselves.

It’s crazy how entitled they sound here.

Let’s see what other Redditors thought about this.

This person agreed that she was right to refuse.

While another Redditor, with a similar experience, encouraged her to stand up to her husband.

Meanwhile, others pointed out that given the in-laws can pay for their own care, they should.

The very fact that her in-laws are planning to move to a retirement home when they don’t need to, just so they can be waited upon is crazy – perhaps they’ve just had enough of playing carer to their youngest son and want someone to care for them.

But expecting their son and his wife to pay for it is completely unreasonable, and disregards the fact that they have plenty of expenses of their own.

They’re being completely unfair in not treating their sons as equals – if one son has to pay, they should each be paying half, rather than simply playing favorites.

They need to take a long, hard look at themselves.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.