A 55-year-old father says he’s finally trying to move forward after losing his teenage daughter to cancer, but his wife says that makes him a terrible parent.

While he still visits their daughter’s grave and misses her deeply, he believes he has to start living again. His wife, however, insists that “a good father never moves on.”

Read on for the story.

AITAH for moving on after my daughter’s demise?

My 55M youngest daughter recently passed away at 18 back in 2023 after fighting cancer bravely for 12 years. She was the strongest person I’ve ever known in my life and she wanted to live.

She beat cancer and rang the bell three different times but it came back stronger than ever and my poor girl couldn’t handle it and passed away just two weeks after it came back for the 4th time.

We were at home and I went to wake her up and she didn’t. It broke me and I collapsed on top of her body and started screaming to my wife it was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I’d give up my life to bring her back with absolutely no hesitation.

How traumatic and awful.

Me and my wife did our best to give her the best possible life, also the make a wish foundation gave my daughter three different vacations over the years even though we’re not American.

We took her to as many places as possible because she was a huge travel and explorer. She was always so sweet and even when she was in the most physical pain she always had a smile and was so positive.

She had a big group of friends who all loved her and they even made a little club in her memory to raise awareness about cancer it was so sweet.

Ugh this is heartbreaking.

My wife’s still broken about her to this day and still visits her grave a couple of times a week.

I do too but not as much as her, and honestly I’ve started moving on.

Of course I still love my daughter to death and would do anything to bring her back but that’s never gonna happen, and constantly living in grief and pain isn’t gonna help anyone.

A harsh reality.

My wife last night had a big fight with me about this which is becoming frequent, she accused me of not loving our daughter.

I told her she’s crazy and that I’d give up my life to bring her back but there’s literally nothing we can do about it, she called me a horrible father and I asked wether I should mourn for the rest of my life and she said yes I should.

It got bad and she said somethings that really hurt and infuriated me and I ended up telling her to go stay with her parents the night, they’re still alive and her dad honestly seems more energetic than me sometimes, she went and is still over there now.

Ouchhh.

But I can’t stop thinking about what she said.

AITA for starting to move on from this?

I still love my daughter to death and I miss her everyday.

Reddit commenters offered compassion but stood by the father, saying grief looks different for everyone and that healing isn’t betrayal.

This person has a theory. 

This person says grief shows up differently for everyone and he shouldn’t be punished for that.

And this person understands completely.

When love outlives loss, learning to live again isn’t forgetting, it’s surviving.

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