It can be hard to see someone you love get their feelings hurt, and it can be especially hard when it’s done on purpose.

If your wife’s family was constantly picking on her, would you confront them about it or stay out of it?

In this story, one man stand up for his wife via a text to her dad, mom and brothers, but when she finds out, she tells him to stop creating drama.

Was he creating drama, or was he trying to prevent it? Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for telling my in laws to not pick on my wife?

My wife (25f) and me (27m) are trying to make plans for the holidays and this year, my wife wants to do Christmas with her family.

Wife’s family are not very nice to her. They pick on her a lot. Like backhanded comments that are supposed to be jokes. Particularly her brothers, but occasionally her dad too.

So I texted her mom (52f), dad (51m), and brothers (22m, 28m, 30m) without telling her and said that we are excited to be with them for Christmas, but asked them to please keep their snarky comments to themselves.

I told them that the comments calling her immature, dumb, and annoying are unnecessary and rude and they really hurt her feelings.

Her dad doesn’t seem very understanding.

Her dad responded that my wife has always been a bit sensitive and this is just the way things are with siblings.

This got back to my wife because her mom sent her screenshots of the text messages and she said to please don’t create anymore drama during the holidays.

He gives some examples of his wife’s family’s behavior, such as when she was opening presents.

Here’s my justification for this text:

– She got a porch goose for Christmas which she asked for and she was really excited and telling all the clothes she wanted to make for it.

Her brother rolled his eyes and said she was immature.

Then she got really embarrassed and just seemed sad.

This happened several more times when she was opening gifts.

When I asked her to show me some of the patterns for the clothes she was going to make the porch goose later, she just got embarrassed again and said she didn’t want to talk about it. (I would like to point out that she is a full time nanny and housekeeper to 3 kids so even if it were immature, she has an excuse.)

Her brother insulted her again on the 4th of July.

– Sometimes her brothers will just randomly call her dumb.

Like at her family’s 4th of July get together, she and one of her brothers were going back and forth about roundabouts and he just shut down the conversation by saying he doesn’t argue with people who didn’t go to college.

And she said almost nothing the rest of the night, even after we got home.

They also criticize her weight.

– My wife lost a good deal of weight a few years back.

But her family is constantly commenting on her food choices and how much or little she eats and few months to “keep her on track” they remind her that most people who lose weight gain it all back.

He hates seeing his wife insulted by her family.

In spite of all this, most of the time her family is pleasant to be around but it’s like they just can’t help themselves and need to make these digs at her.

When I try to or she tries to say, don’t say that, it’s always “just a joke” or “you’re reading too much into it.”

It’s just hard for me to see this happen.

He’s wondering if he should’ve stayed quiet.

When I try to bring it up to her, she closes down or says that it’s just how her family is.

I just don’t want to spend another holiday watching her try to brush it off.

Now according to my wife, my MIL, FIL, and BILs are all mad at me and according to them I have already ruined Christmas in October.

Maybe I should have left this up to my wife but I know she wouldn’t do it.

AITA for telling my in laws to not pick on my wife?

That is just how her family is, but that doesn’t make it okay. I love that he stands up for his wife, but he probably should’ve talked to her before sending that text.

Let’s see what advice Reddit has to offer.

It’s not funny, so this question should really annoy them.

His father-in-law just doesn’t want to admit that he’s a bully.

This person can relate to this situation.

Another person calls him a hero.

Even if his wife doesn’t realize it, he did the right thing.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.