Imagine being married to someone who is never ready on time, and they’re not just a little bit late for events. They’re really late.

If the two of you were planning on attending a special event for your spouse’s birthday, would you go out of your way to make sure you’re not late, or would you let them be as late as possible even if you knew they’d end up being upset about it?

In this story, one man is in this situation and decides not to rush his wife. When she realizes how late they are, she’s really mad at him. Who actually messed up here?

Let’s read the whole story.

AITAH for letting my chronically late wife miss an event she was looking forward to by not rushing her, because I wanted her to face consequences?

My wife (32F) and I (31M) have been together for 5 years. I’m fed up with my wife’s chronic lateness to many things. It’s really annoying and grates on my nerves.

To her, it seems like no big deal because I always manage to rush her by telling her the time of an event 45 minutes earlier.

She’s never noticed EARLIER because she’s too caught up with herself, constantly taking photos. That’s the reason she’s always late.

She really prioritizes photos.

She has a decent following on Instagram and is looking to grow as a “content creator.”

I find it really silly how she turns everything we do into a photo session, and at this point, I’ve stopped agreeing to take her photos altogether.

We’ve had several conversations about this.

I’ve told her that it’s mentally exhausting for me to always have to stay on top of making sure we both get ready according to plan. But she never really does anything to address it.

He wanted her to face consequences.

This time, I wanted her to experience the consequences of her actions.

This month alone, we’ve been embarrassingly late to events 2 times, and this time was the first she realized I hadn’t been honest about the timing because I used to give her an ETA 40 minutes earlier.

A week ago, I told her I wouldn’t be doing that anymore and that I expected her to act like an adult and be more responsible.

Her birthday probably wasn’t the right time to decide to make her face consequnces.

It was her birthday this weekend, and I got her tickets to an event featuring several performers, including her favorite artists in the first act.

This time, as I’d already told her before, I didn’t give her the extra 40-minute buffer. I expected her to remember our conversation and store that information in her head to plan accordingly.

Instead, she did her whole influencer routine—decorating our room, setting up studio lights, dressing up, and taking photos.

The whole time, I knew she was missing out on her favorite artist because she didn’t take me seriously. It was so ironic that I didn’t even feel like reminding her. I’m done with the mental burden of always rushing and planning.

It does seem like poor timing. He could’ve picked any other time that wasn’t her birthday.

We arrived, and she realized what had happened.

She got upset and started crying, asking how I could do this to her on her birthday. She said it seemed like I was liking the rise it got from her and asked why I couldn’t set my “ego” aside for one day.

I told her this was on her, I’d already made it clear I wasn’t going to rush anymore, and she should have listened the first time and expected me to follow through, unlike her.

She said the whole point of the event was to see the performances of those artists, who we’d just missed.

She was incredibly upset and kept crying off and on during the event.

If he can follow through, so can she.

The ride home was awkward.

I was in the downstairs restroom when she texted me saying I wasn’t welcome in the bedroom that night.

I ignored her message and went in while she was changing. She looked like she wanted to kill me, and I simply told her that her saying I’m not welcome was irrelevant because it’s my room too. If she’s uncomfortable, she could take the couch.

She ended up leaving to visit her mom, and I’m considering whether I was a jerk?

Yes, he was a jerk. I agree that his wife needs to face consequences for being late all the time, but her birthday was not the right day to decide to enforce those consequences. Literally any other time would’ve been better.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This couple’s marriage sounds very stressful.

One person thinks it sounds like he resents her too much for this marriage to work.

This person is on the husband’s side.

I agree with this comment. What he did would’ve been okay if it weren’t her birthday.

This couple needs counseling.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.