Imagine dating someone for about a year, and it’s almost their birthday. Would you take the day off work to spend the day with them, or would you celebrate together after work?

In this story, one man is in this situation, and he chooses the second option, but his girlfriend wanted him to take the day off work.

Now, he’s wondering if he really did make the wrong decision.

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITA for not taking off work for my gf’s birthday

I (31F) and my gf (29F) have been dating for about a year. Her birthday was last month and it landed on a Tuesday.

Tuesdays are typically busy work days for me.

My plan was to go to work, maybe sneak out around 4 if i could manage it, then meet up with her for birthday dinner at a restaurant she likes.

But dinner wasn’t good enough for his girlfriend.

When I asked her what she planned to do, she didn’t really have much of a plan. Mostly it was “hang out, do whatever i want, maybe do this, maybe do that”; nothing concrete.

So I then asked if she knew where she wanted to go for dinner after work.

She got upset because she had expected me to take the day off and spend it with her doing whatever.

I told her that I didn’t want to do that and felt uncomforable. I’d recently had some life events and health issues that effectively burned through most of my PTO and sick days.

He didn’t want to lie.

She told me to just lie about being sick again or that i had a Dr.’s appointment.

This made me more uncomfortable. I hate lying and i hate bending the rules. Especially when it comes to work. I’ve worked hard for my career and i’m lucky to have my job.

Additionally my company has been very good to me and it felt wrong to take advantage of their kindness.

She’s comes from money and has always had a cavalier approach to jobs. Her mindset is that if any company would fire you on a whim, why be loyal?

She didn’t get her way.

I told her no but she insisted and we fought.

Eventually she gave in and accepted.

Her birthday comes around, and she seemingly has a good day: shopping, napping and going to lunch with her parents.

Here’s how dinner went…

At dinner she seemed completely fine.

We went to one of her fave spots, had an excellent meal, even got free champagne. Then we went home, i gave her her gifts and we spent more time together.

In the end, she said she had a great day.

But she didn’t really have a great day.

Flash forward to today, a month later. She’s clearly upset and grumpy.

I poke and prod and ask her what’s wrong.

She eventually EXPLODES on me. She said she’s still mad i didn’t take off work for her special day, and that i haven’t apologized. She says i ruined her day by not being there for her.

When i brought up that she said she had a “great day”, she says she lied and that OBVIOUSLY i’m supposed to have done everything in my power to make sure she had an amazing b-day.

Her expectations seem unrealistic.

Again, she had no plans listed. She was operating off of just vibes.

When i pointed that out, she said that it was my responsibility to help her come up with things to do and know what she would’ve wanted to do.

I’m very confused and my head hurts. Reddit, AITA?

This relationship may not work. He can’t read her mind, and it’s even harder if he’s supposed to somehow know what she would want to do when she admits to not even knowing that herself.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This person calls the girlfriend “selfish and spoiled.”

Another person thinks he needs to rethink this relationship.

This person thinks she’s too old to be so upset about her birthday.

Everyone thinks his girlfriend is the problem.

They may not be celebrating together on her next birthday.

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