If your sister-in-law was rude to your wife, would you stand up for your wife? If your wife was the rude one, would you defend her?

In this story, one man’s sister-in-law is really rude to his wife which results in his wife and the other women in the family not wanting to be around her.

The sister-in-law feels left out, and his brother wants him to encourage his wife to include her.

Should he?

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for telling my brother I’m not going to advocate for his wife to be included more when she’s rude to mine?

My wife (32f) is very close to my (33m) family.

We were childhood best friends, high school sweethearts and we’ve been together for 18 years now.

They’ve known her all that time and my mom adores her and they’re incredibly close.

Actually my mom has a good relationship with all but one of her children’s partners.

His brother’s wife turned on OP’s wife.

My younger brother’s “Aidan” (29m) wife (27f) is the exception.

Aidan married Gem last year. They dated for a couple of years before that.

At first we all got along pretty good with Gem but she suddenly started being a jerk to my wife.

It started with very subtle comments that my wife said were nothing and I was just overreacting.

The rude comments kept coming.

While others would joke that my wife was mom’s favorite kid, Gem would sound bitter and jealous about it. Then her comments turned mean about it.

The jokes about it, which were never very frequent, stopped after that but Gem would bring it up anyway.

Then it was comments about exhausting it must be for my wife to have so many people who want her time and attention.

Those were sparked by my siblings partners also getting along with my wife, not to mention my mom and wife hanging out and then my wife and I have kids together.

Gem feels left out.

I asked Gem what her problem was, spoke to Aidan 1:1 as well and others spoke up in defense of my wife.

Gem’s biggest issue has always appeared to be my mom and my wife being close. I don’t know why it drives her crazy but it does.

Now Aidan’s frustrated because Gem isn’t included the way my wife and the other partners are. The fact mom will do days with her daughters in-law and Gem isn’t invited. Or that my wife will do girls stuff with the women in our family but she doesn’t invite Gem because eventually she got sick of Gem’s nonsense too.

She was better than me at brushing it off for a while but I think anyone would get annoyed by someone always treating them like garbage.

He’s not about to force his wife to include Gem.

So Aidan came to me hoping I’d advocate for Gem to be included. He said she just feels left out and wants to be included.

I told him she has a funny way of showing it.

He said she knows she messed up but to give her another chance for him.

I told him I’m not going to advocate for his wife’s inclusion when she was so rude to mine. I told him he needs to get Gem to make it up to everyone and work toward her inclusion or else she’s staying an outsider. I told him I get that his loyalty is with his own wife but mine will always be with my wife.

All Gem has to do is apologize.

He told me someone our side needs to try or Gem will feel like she’s wasting her time.

I told him it’s not on me.

He tried to pull some brotherhood crap and I told him to knock it off and accept my answer.

Obviously he hates that.

My wife said she’d have no problem if Gem apologized and actually stopped with her comments and she’s glad I told Aidan what Gem needed to do.

Aidan keeps telling me I was a jerk and could’ve done more.

AITA?

Husbands standing up for their wives – that’s to be admired. But in this case, Gem needs to make amends on her own.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

That about sums it up.

This person calls Gem a  “bitter joy-killer.”

Here’s a suggestion of what to tell his brother.

Gem might be realizing the consequences of her actions.

An apology is a good place to start.

If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.