There’s a fine line between helping someone out and feeling like a guest in your own home.

So, what would you do if your daughter’s lifelong friend moved in after a rough patch, only for his new girlfriend to treat your house like her own? Would you stay quiet to avoid stressing him out any further? Or would you speak up and ban her from your home?

In the following story, one woman finds herself in this very situation and doesn’t know what to do. Here’s what’s going on.

WIBTA if I asked our daughter’s friend to not have his gf stay at our house while he’s at work?

Our daughter’s (23 yo) best friend, “Jake” (m 22yo), from childhood (they’ve been close friends since they were 11 yo), needed a place to stay temporarily after a genuinely messed up situation. He is considered a family member, and that is why he is staying with us.

Jake is bringing this girl (20 yo) over, though, who he just started dating when he started staying with us a couple months ago. I will call her Sabrina.

Sabrina is sweet to our faces but really disrupts the household dynamic by doing things like inexplicably staying in the bathroom (that is shared by four other people in our 1500 sf house) for over an hour each time. She says she’s constipated – she volunteers this information as an explanation.

Sabrina has no respect for anyone in the house.

She does not seem to be doing anything but talking on the phone, which she does loudly and at all hours of the day and night, waking us up (small house = everyone can hear everything everywhere). She talks on the phone when she’s taking very long showers. She does her laundry here.

No one asked us if we would mind if she came over at all, let alone all this other crazy stuff.

We are at our wits’ end. I feel logically we should ban her outright, but Jake is in a fragile mental space, too, and we don’t want to alienate him or hurt him. But this girl is making it feel like living in a bizarro world, and this is our home.

AITA?

Wow! It’s hard not to wonder where he found this girl.

Let’s check out what advice the readers over at Reddit have to offer.

It seems like common sense, but good point.

This person thinks Sabrina should stay home.

For this reader, it’s about addressing them like kids.

This reader lays out a solid plan for handling the situation.

She needs to take control back. Jake must be happy to have help, so he’d probably understand if she sat him down and talked about the issue.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.