Sometimes visiting family feels less like a break and more like unpaid labor.

So, what would you do if every trip home turned into a weekend of heavy lifting and home improvement projects? Would you still go out of guilt? Or would you skip the visit to fully enjoy your time off?

In the following story, one adult son finds himself in this exact situation and is leaning toward the latter. Here’s what’s going on.

WIBTA If I don’t visit family because they expect me to work

This sounds petty, and maybe it is.

I’ve never gotten along with my Father very well. He’s a harsh disciplinarian, expecting obedience without question. He also has a degenerative disease that he has been fighting for years.

Nowadays, he always has a project started that is not quite within his ability to complete. When family visits, he will briefly mention that they will be helping him with it, and that is the expectation.

I am a lazy person. I don’t want to work on my vacation. Last weekend I had 13 hours of overtime, and if I visit, they will expect help with, for example, moving gravel.

He’s thinking about cancelling his visit.

For years, I’ve visited and been surprised occasionally by being required for a serious project that requires hours of physical labor during what I would consider a holiday.

Naturally, I feel guilty seeing my father and his project that he has started and cannot finish without help, but this has been a constant routine. Selfishly, I do not want to visit during my holidays because I know I’ll be guilted into work.

I know I’m lazy, but the projects he creates are either intended to wait for help (none of his 4 children live close) or planned without forethought for his own abilities.

So, what if I decide not to visit because this time, because I know he has a project that requires a lot of help, and I’m not feeling like spending my weekend shoveling? ((These are generally improvements to the yard, not repairs))

AITA?

Yikes! It’s easy to see why he feels this way.

Let’s check out what the readers over at Reddit think about what’s going on with this situation.

Here’s a thought.

This reader offers several solutions.

For this reader, it’s about hiring the work out if possible.

Here’s someone who gets it.

He should do what he wants. There’s no law that says you must help your parents after you move out, but hiring someone to help would be nice.

If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.