Unfortunately, apologies rarely work when trust has been shattered.

So, what would you do if you discovered that your three closest friends had been secretly mocking you for months, and then abandoned you late at night in an unfamiliar place after you confronted them? Would you forgive them when they apologize? Or would you stand firm and make them earn your trust back?

In the following story, one teen girl finds herself in this situation and refuses to accept their apologies. Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for not to forgive my friends after they apologized to me repeatedly?

I (18f) have three very close friends: Jane(18f), Ben(17m) and Sam(19m). We have been friends for almost 6 years.

While I was hanging out with Jane at her house before going out with our small friend group, we were getting ready, and I needed to look something up, but didn’t have my phone on me, so I asked Jane to borrow hers.

She gave me her phone to do so (as I know her password), when I opened her phone, she had left off on a group chat between herself, Ben, and Sam, where for months the 3 of them had talked badly about me behind my back and even discussed completely dropping me.

Then, they were nowhere to be found.

As one would do, I asked Jane about it, and once I asked her, she broke down and told me that they have been doing this for months because of a small fight I and Jane had back in August, which I had long thought was settled, and was news to me that she was still upset over.

But for the most part, she and I talked it out.

Later that night, we had met up with Ben and Sam, and I just let them know that I knew and that at some point the four of us had to talk about it.

However, at some point, the 3 of them had ditched me in an area I wasn’t completely familiar with, around 11 p.m., with no way home or anything, as I had ridden with Jane there.

They kept apologizing.

None of them would answer my texts or calls, which led to me having a bad panic attack. Eventually, I got a hold of one of my other friends, Zaiden (20m), who ended up helping me figure out where I was and came and got me.

The next morning, I had dozens of texts from Jane, Ben, and Sam apologizing for leaving me behind, and eventually we all agreed to meet at a cafe near where we all lived.

Throughout the morning, they apologized multiple times for talking about me behind my back and even spreading rumors about me in our larger friend group.

Now, some of her other friends are going against her.

I told them I understood they were sorry, but I couldn’t just forgive them, and that if they wanted forgiveness, they would have to work towards that with me and try to repair the trust that had been broken in the process.

None of them liked this and didn’t want to have to earn that forgiveness, as I have always been someone who lets everyone walk all over me and forgives very easily.

Over a few days, I’ve gotten multiple messages from mutual friends telling me I was wrong and completely unreasonable for not forgiving them, and that I should apologize for being so “unreasonable” and “dramatic” for not immediately forgiving them.

AITA?

Yikes! These people don’t sound like friends at all.

Let’s see what advice the readers over at Reddit have to offer.

According to this comment, she should avoid everyone but Zaiden.

Here’s a good point.

This person thinks the friends were way out of line.

For this reader, what her friends did was cruel.

She needs to go no contact. Obviously, these people are not her friends and do not have her best interests in mind.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.