Woman’s Stepdad Thinks He’s More Disabled Than She Is, So She Points Out A Big Difference In Their Disabilities

Jayne Elliott

3 weeks ago

Shutterstock/Reddit

Why do some people have to make everything a competition?

Imagine being disabled but your stepdad has a different disability. Would you be annoyed if he was constantly comparing your disability to his and always acting like his was worse?

In this story, one young woman listens to her mom’s boyfriend rant about their disabilities over and over again, but one day she finally defends herself.

Did she go too far?

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for telling my mom’s boyfriend he had a say in his PTSD

I’m a disabled 21 year old woman and my mom’s current boyfriend (m 46) doesn’t believe i am.

I struggle with a lot of mental health issues(child hood PTSD, major depression, anxity, ADHD and autim. all dignoised by a profesinal and i am in treatment for them all) from childhood trauma and have severe chronic migraines.

But overall I seem like a “normal” person, and I think that’s what he gets stuck on.

Why does it have to be a competition?

Every time I try to talk about problems to my mom, well he’s around. It turns into a competition of which one of us is more disabled.

Personally I think that’s a regressive mindset and puts more stigma on mental health by saying there’s a magical bar you have to get to for your struggles to really matter.

But clearly he thinks two different disabilities should be measured on a one to one scale and his disability is worse than mine. He states that he’s disabled to but doesn’t have nearly as much trouble as I do and his disability is worse than mine.

His disability being ptsd from time as a marin.

She pointed out a big difference in their disabilities.

He believes because he’s really disabled (the government sends him money every month) And I’m not( because it’s incredibly difficult to get disability for migraines) that he gets to tell me how to handle my disability and that i’m doing it poorly.

Not only that he very much implies that I’m not just playing up my issues but faking them.

This all came to a head when I told him well he was on another of his tirades, That he got a say in his disability.

Not only Is he a man and his issues are actually taken seriously by the medical industry, but he applied for the military knowing about ptsd. He got 18 years of normality before going into the military, and he knew he had a risk of developing ptsd when he went in.

I however was born this way and had no control over my trauma as I was a child when it occurred.

It’s not like she has anything against veterans.

Please don’t get me wrong. I fully respect veterans and their need for treatment. They deserve respect and validation.

I was just tired of him telling me I wasn’t disabled and had no excuse for not being a fully functional member of society because even if I was disabled he can function just fine.

I have never before played down his ptsd (and I don’t think pointing out he had an idea that going into the military could and likely would result in ptsd is me down playing it.) I normally don’t even justify his comments about me with a real response.

She needed to stand up for herself.

I just wanted to point out that it’s not fair to compare our struggles on a one to one scale, and that i am just as deserving of understanding for my disabilities as he is. After 2 years of him degrading and belittling my issues.

Now he’s trying to get my mom to kick me out because of how disrespectful I was to him. Even though this is the first time I have ever snapped back at him, well he’s always going on and on and on about how I’m a failure of a human being.

For her own mental health, it probably would be better to live somewhere else. Then, she doesn’t have to listen to any of her mom’s boyfriend’s rants.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Everyone really messed up.