Allergies are a serious business, and in the worst cases they can cause death if not acted upon very quickly.

So of course, those who suffer from serious allergies are right to take their conditions very seriously.

This leads to things like nut bans in schools where a child has an allergy, and staff being trained in emergency protocols. And this is only right, since a person’s life is at stake.

After fourteen years of friendship, the woman in this story was sure that her friend would remember her life-threatening allergies.

But she just let her down, time and time again.

Read on to find out how this is affecting their friendship.

AITA if I cut off a 14-year-long friendship because she refuses to learn my food allergies?

I am a 25-year-old woman, and I’ve been friends with another girl, Leah (also 25, female), for fourteen years. We’ve been good friends since the sixth grade, and live close to each other.

I have severe food allergies to sesame and nuts.

This makes it really hard for me to eat at places that are Middle Eastern, Asian, or those healthy-food vegan places where they use nuts and sesame a lot.

Leah and I have had a fantastic friendship, except that after fourteen years she still cannot remember that I have food allergies.

Let’s see how this is impacting their long-standing friendship.

We meet up every weekend and she always suggests we go to eat at places where I am not comfortable eating, because they have sent me to the hospital before. And she was actually for one of the times I went to the ER.

Every time I say I don’t want to get Chinese or Lebanese or whatever she is somehow confused. I remind her that I can’t eat literally any sesame or nuts or I will die, and she’s like, “Oh yeah, right. Never mind I guess.”

She’s big into healthy eating, and so likes vegan and East Asian-inspired foods. She liked to bond over cooking but she will literally pull out sesame oil or almond extract and I have to catch it before she uses it.

I always remind her of my allergies, but it’s a 50/50 if she catches herself before using something I can’t eat.

And even in her own home, she’s still not safe.

If we’re at my place, there are questions like, “Can we add macadamia nuts to the cookies?” This isn’t every time, but I feel like it should be zero times.

I know that people who don’t have allergies can have a hard time understanding how scary they are, but after fourteen it’s really disconcerting that she cannot remember what will literally kill me.

Outside of food we have a great friendship, and she doesn’t have any trouble remembering anything else about me, my sister, my parents, my pets, etc., which makes this even weirder.

I feel exhausted and like I’m always on my guard around her. I just can’t explain another time. Would I be wrong to tell her I don’t want to hang out anymore?

AITA?

The fact that Leah can remember things about this woman’s wider family and pets, suggests that she really should be able to remember things about her friend’s allergies too.

Especially after fourteen years. Especially since these allergies are literally life and death for her friend.

The fact that she can’t (or won’t) remember, only points in one direction: this isn’t important to her. And why would her friend want to maintain a relationship if that were true?

Let’s see what folks on Reddit thought about this.

This person suspected that Leah simply didn’t believe her friend was allergic – despite the ER trip.

She’s being completely reasonable.

And this Redditor pointed out just how easy it is to learn (and remember) the allergies of someone you care about.

Leah’s behavior shows either a complete lack of care toward her friend, or a refusal to believe in life-threatening allergies.

And honestly, both are bad news.

In fact, Leah’s neglect could literally kill her one day – so cutting her out of her life is the only logical step.

No one needs a friend like that.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.