Imagine planning your wedding. Would you let your stepdaughter be the flower girl, or would you let your niece be the flower girl?

In this story, one woman wants her stepdaughter to be the flower girl, but her sister-in-law is trying to convince her to let her niece be the flower girl instead.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for not letting my miracle baby niece be my flower girl at my wedding?

My (27F) older brother and SIL (both mid 30’s) just welcomed their first child a year and a half ago, after YEARS of trying.

After many failed attempts, SIL was told that she wouldn’t be able to conceive due to a medical condition she has, they finally got pregnant.

Since having my niece, the baby has been the center of attention at EVERY family even we’ve had since she was born. Birthday’s, wedding’s, family get togethers, you name it.

She thinks her SIL needs to tone it down.

Now don’t get me wrong I LOVE my niece, but it can get to be a little too much when my SIL goes on and on about how long they tried to conceive, complications they’ve had, miscarriages they’ve had etc.

Like a little TOO much info.

Many family members have commented on how it’s a little bit excessive, but no one has said anything because they don’t want to sound like an AH.

It’s a tale of too many flower girls.

Anyway I’m getting married in the spring and my brother and SIL approached me last weekend about having my niece be the flower girl.

Now my fiancé (35M) has two children (10M and 6F) from his previous marriage.

His son is one of his groomsmen while his daughter had asked to be our flower girl when we told them the news that we were getting married a year ago, as it’s something she always wanted to do, so of course we said yes.

So I explained this to my SIL when she asked me about my niece.

I love that she’s standing up for her stepdaughter. She’s going to be a great stepmom.

She asked if my step daughter can just carry my niece with her?

I said I don’t think she’d be comfortable with that considering she’s 6.

She then asked why I can’t give that role to my niece, and allow herself to carry my niece down as the flower girl?

I said no because I already promised my step daughter.

She was honest with her SIL.

She then starting going off about how my lack of effort to incorporate my niece is disgusting to her. I should “honor her” in some way since I know how long and hard they tried for my niece.

Now I may sound like an AH for this but I kind of got fed up and snapped and said

“Incorporate my niece how? By the time the wedding comes around she’ll be 2 years old. The ENTIRE family already knows your story about how long and hard you guys tried for her. What more do you expect me to do to honor her?”

Her SIL is pretty dramatic!

She started crying and said that clearly I don’t love my one and only niece and I’m “letting her down”.

I said of course I love my niece, and obviously she’s going to be involved in pictures and stuff. But I’m not going to let my step daughter down by giving my niece a role she’s too young to remember anyway.

Well now SIL and my brother are ticked off with me for not letting my niece be flower girl, and are running around telling the rest of the family I don’t love my niece.

She refuses to let her stepdaughter down.

My mom had been trying to stay neutral but thinks my step daughter would understand if I explained to her I need to give that role to my niece.

I’m firm in my decision though, and my fiancé is thankful that I didn’t let his daughter down.

AITA for not allowing my niece to be the flower girl?

Her mom is wrong. Her stepdaughter would never forget and hold this against her forever. She needs to let her stepdaughter be the flower girl.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Exactly!

Maybe it’s not too late!

She has to stand up for her stepdaughter.

Her stepdaughter is the priority.

She’s making the right decision.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.