The holidays are a great time to get together with your family, but they can also cause some awkward interactions.

What would you do if your dad and his new girlfriend refused to come unless they could also bring her adult son and another guest that you don’t know?

That is what the family in this story is facing, and they want to refuse the invitation, but still want Dad to attend.

AITAH For Not Allowing My Father’s Uninvited Guests at My Holiday Dinner?

Backstory: my Partner’s (of 23 years) father is widowed (Nov 2023) and has a new GF (March 2024).

Wow, I wonder if they knew each other before.

Father and GF are in their 90’s. Since their coupling, my partner and I have seen little of partner’s Dad.

Living his best life, yes, but has also blown off all major holidays with his own family since the coupling.

It is sad that Dad is pulling away.

Partner’s deceased mother always emphasized holidays with family, including my family (parents and close kin). But we’re on the back burner now.

Partner’s Dad has bounced, declined, and/or cancelled last minute all holiday dinners since coupling with GF.

Is she controlling?

This year, he says he’ll join us for Christmas only if his new GF approves.

Fine.

I extend invite to new GF too since Partner and his sister want to see Dad. (met GF once and she seems ok).

Well, that is weird

Partner’s Dad then responds inquiring if GF son (60+ divorced grifter) and his grown adult friend (status unknown but suspect the same), can also at8.

My Partner and I have not met either and have not been able to vet them, but have understand GG son’s political and social views do not align with our’s, or our confirmed RSVP’s.

Different political views are no big deal, unless they can’t be civil.

Partner’s Dad has previously mentioned GF’s son is verbally combative, and has yelled at 90+yo Dad about Dad’s political stance.

My own fam, who will be present, is quite progressive, outspoken for social justice, human rights, and environmental protection.

I can’t really blame people for not wanting them there.

I fielded the invite inquiry with my family and Partner’s sister. Their response was a resounding “no”, simply based on social etiquette and the imposition of having strangers at an intimate gathering.

I agreed with the feedback, and also raised my personal discomfort about having strange men in my house that I have not met (i.e. past personal trauma, etc).

Hopefully, they will be understanding.

I politely declined Partner’s Dad’s inquiry, stating logistics and improprieties. Parter’s Dad responds “We’ll discuss this” and continues to push issue with Partner and Partner’s sister.

I responded back with a firm No. Parter’s Dad offers to buy dinner so I can meet GF son before the holiday so he would not be a “stranger”.

Oh, he’s not missing the point. He’s trying to get around it.

I again say no, and become flummoxed that he’s missing the point.

The whole exchange sent me…”no” is a complete sentence, not up for debate.

She is trying to be flexible.

As of today, I am still a firm no, but am offering a compromise that Partner’s Dad and GF, sans son and friend ,come for either cheese and snacks beforehand, stay just for dinner and then depart, or come for dessert, so they can have some time with Partner and sister, and my fam.

Partner’s Dad will not budge and is insisting either GF son and friend come or he will not spend time with his own son (Partner) and (Partner’s sister).

This is quite a group.

My family in attendance includes my teenage niece, my 80 yo Mom, and my 80 yo “uncle” who’s family was interred during WWII.

I am fiercely protective of them and do not want to subject them to potential aggression during the holidays (they only have so many left!).

Who wants strangers at the holiday?

Furthermore, I have a reasonable and healthy distrust of men I have not met in my personal space.

Am I wrong for putting my foot down and saying no to these unplanned plus 2’s for a holiday dinner?

AITA?

Even if they were perfectly pleasant people, there is no obligation to have them for the holidays. Dad should make a point to attend, though, regardless.

Let’s see what the people in the comments think about it.

Checking on the finances is a very good idea.

They might just show up.

Why would the adult son even want to be there?

Dad is being unreasonable.

Yeah, this is definitely the case.

His new girlfriend seems very controlling.