Office culture can turn on a dime when the wrong person hears the wrong sentence.

After a lighthearted comment between coworkers was reported to HR by a nosy manager, the employee began weighing retaliation against restraint.

Keep reading for the full story!

WIBTA if I report a manager to HR after they reported me and got me written up

I (M, mid-20s) recently received a write-up because of inappropriate language toward another coworker.

Recently, I was joking around with a coworker and told her, “Get your lazy *** up.”

While saying this, we were laughing, and I was under the impression that we were friendly enough to communicate in this way.

But not everyone was so amused.

At that very moment, a manager—let’s call her Susan—overheard this and approached me. She said, “That is how people get sent to Human Resources. What you just said was extremely disrespectful.”

The employee quickly tried to do damage control.

I then proceeded to apologize to my coworker and to that manager because I didn’t want things to further escalate.

While I’m aware and take accountability for what I said, I’ve also heard other coworkers use foul language with one another, and nothing seems to come of their language.

To him, this is just how him and this person spoke to each other.

I’d also like to add that the coworker, before my comment, stated the following: “I’m so **** tired, bro.”

So once again, since she used swear words, I assumed she would also accept that other coworkers use similar language.

During the incident, the coworker whom I told to get her lazy *** up never mentioned to me that she found my comment unacceptable.

It turns out, this incident wasn’t forgotten about.

A few days went by, and I got called into my manager’s office and was issued a written warning. I wasn’t allowed to explain my side of the story, and I always suspected that I wasn’t reported by the coworker but instead by that manager.

Today, the truth set her free.

So the next time he sees Susan, she only doubles down on her disapproval.

I saw Susan in the morning for the first time since the issue, and I respectfully greeted her and once again apologized to her for causing an incident in her department.

Susan pushed back and informed me that I messed up and deserved to be written up.

It soon becomes clear that Susan has crossed a line.

Through more conversation with Susan, I brought up how I would have appreciated it if the coworker had allowed me a moment to apologize instead of going directly to Human Resources.

At this point, Susan stopped me and said, “She didn’t report you to HR. I did.” All along, my suspicions were right.

This employee happens to know that Susan is no angel either.

Now I also know that after my incident, Susan’s husband—who used to work at our company but was fired for consuming alcohol on the job—has been showing his face on company property.

Susan’s husband comes with flowers for Susan and to kiss my other managers’ backsides.

This happens to go against the rules.

Per company policy, someone who has been fired isn’t allowed on the premises anymore, nor can they approach the premises as a customer to purchase from the company.

I’d also like to add that Susan was informed by higher management during our corporate winter party that her husband could not be her plus-one because he was terminated and not allowed on property.

Now he wonders if he should get back at Susan by making a report of his own.

WIBTA if I sent an email to Human Resources and higher corporate executives informing them that I feel “uncomfortable” with Susan’s husband on the premises and that Susan is violating corporate policy by allowing him there?

Sounds like this employee now has quite a bit of leverage over Susan.

What did Reddit think?

This commenter would definitely do it, but it doesn’t mean they’d necessarily recommend it.

It’s probably a good idea to fight back against Susan before she takes things any further.

As far as this commenter is concerned, Susan deserves it.

This user agrees that Susan took things a step too far.

Susan definitely isn’t perfect, so she shouldn’t expect anyone else to be.

At the end of the day, she opened a door she might not be able to easily close.

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.