When dropping a car off at the mechanic, you sometimes have to just sit around and wait for a bit.

What would you do if while you were waiting, someone came up to you and started demanding that you pick up a broken appliance from her house?

That is what happened to the customer in this story, so after trying to be polite, he really let her have it and told her that he doesn’t work there in the funniest way.

I Don’t Work Here, Lady–Employment Upgrade Edition

This morning, I had to bring a car to a service station, I don’t know if that term is used everywhere, but around here it refers to an auto mechanic’s garage.

This is a pretty common situation.

My wife and I arrived in separate cars, so that she could leave hers with the mechanic and then drive home with me.

While I was waiting in my car, a woman walked up and asked me “Is that your red truck?”

Why would she think the truck was his?

Keep in mind that I was behind the wheel of a car at that moment. So, it’s kind of an odd thing to ask someone if ANOTHER vehicle is theirs.

I guess I COULD have chained the truck to the back of my car and towed it, though that would have damaged my car. I suppose the best place to damage your car IS at a mechanic’s garage, since it can be fixed immediately. But I digress.

Was there even a reason to look around?

Before responding, I looked around to see the red truck in question. In hindsight, I’m actually not sure why I did that. I don’t own a red truck, so no matter which one she was referring to, the answer would have been “No, it isn’t.”

While I was looking around, she pointed at one across the street and said, “Can you fit the washing machine in that?”

What is this woman even talking about?

I hadn’t yet caught on that I was in an “I Don’t Work Here, Lady” situation. I thought she was asking if a generic person could fit a generic washing machine in a generic red truck of that type.

So I said “I think you probably could. The bed looks large enough. That one’s kind of full at the moment, though.” (It had a lot of scrap metal in the bed.) “You might want to ask inside, though. I’m really not truck-savvy. I’m waiting for my wife.”

She clearly thinks he works there, though it isn’t like a mechanic would offer shipping service.

The woman asked “Well, can you have someone go pick up that washing machine, then?” She pointed to one sitting on the side of the road two houses away.

Then it clicked what she was mistakenly thinking. She thought I worked at the station and was going around picking up scrap metal in a truck… even though I was in a car. So I responded “Oh, that’s not my truck, sorry.”

Now she is getting an attitude.

She replied “So have someone else drive it. What’s the problem?” Now, up to this moment, the conversation had been a friendly one. She had a pleasant tone to her voice, and my responses were equally pleasant. But her “What’s the problem?” attitude screamed out “I’ve got issues.”

So I went into snark mode.

“The problem,” I replied, “is that you are pointing to a red truck. I am driving a silver Elantra. As you may have noticed, my silver Elantra has several noticeable differences from that red truck. Key among them is that it is a silver Elantra. That, on the other hand, is a red truck. That’s a difference worth mentioning, because one is a car and the other is a truck.”

He continued like a champ!

“Now, since I am waiting for my wife in this car, not in that truck, you have to understand that I can’t very well put something in a truck I clearly am not operating while simultaneously sitting in this car. And it would be absurd to try to fit a washing machine in my silver Elantra. This is a sport compact sedan. It would be like trying to fit a whale in a photo booth. Plus, there’d be no room for my wife, who is small but would still be impacted by the additional presence of a washing machine.”

Then I smiled very sweetly.

Oh, I am sure she got very upset at this.

Her brow creased. I had annoyed her. Oh, well.

With a bad attitude, she said “I obviously don’t mean for you to put the washing machine in this car. I’m saying to please either get out of that car and pick up the washing machine with that truck, or else please go inside and have someone else do it.”

Good, now hopefully she realizes her mistake.

By this point, I was amused by the ridiculous conversation, as it was very clear I didn’t work there. I was a customer. So I said “Well, I don’t really tell the people inside the station what to do, other than saying ‘Uh… my car won’t go.’ And then I pay them to fix it.”

That’s where the “Employment Upgrade Edition” part from the title comes in. Apparently, she mistook my comment to mean I pay them BECAUSE I OWN THE PLACE. So she said “Well, maybe you should START telling people what to do if you’re paying them! Look, I just need you to have someone grab the truck and pick up the washing machine. It’s an eyesore. Why is this such a hassle?”

And here we go again.

At which point I said, “Well, let’s examine why. You mistook me for an employee, even though I several times told you I’m just waiting for my wife. You asked a guy sitting behind the wheel of a car if a truck was also his. You failed to pick up on the fact that I am a customer at this service station.

He kept at it!

“You then made the logic leap that I OWN the place, and you proceeded to give me advice on how to run this station that isn’t mine. On top of all THAT, you bizarrely think that a car mechanic would pick up a washing machine–one that you left at the sidewalk, I might add, so I can only assume you are not looking to have it fixed but are instead throwing it away.”

Is she going to finally understand after all of this?

“That means an auto mechanic would have even less reason to come get it than if you needed it repaired, since this is, in fact, an auto mechanic. Just like it’s not a washing machine repair shop, it is also not the town scrapyard. And THAT, ma’am, is why this is such a hassle.”

Wow!

She took a moment to let that all sink in, then her face blanched and she did something you typically only see on TV shows: she clamped a hand over mouth in shock as if she were about to utter her character’s weekly catchphrase, accompanied by a laugh track.

Typically something like “Did I do that?” or “D’oh!” or “Ruh-roh!” or “How YOU doin’?” or “Wachoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” or “Danger, Will Robinson!” or “Uh, eh, just one more thing…” or “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!” or “To the Batmobile!”

Finally, and at least she is admitting it.

Instead, she said “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I’m an idiot! Oh, no, I’m sorry.”

Then she walked away, looking mortified.

I feel bad for her, but I sat there chuckling, thinking “Yeah, I’m posting this when I get home.”

That is just too funny, but it is a good story. And I’m glad she acknowledged that she was in the wrong. So few people do that anymore.

Let’s see what the people in the comments think about this funny story.

LOL. Well said.

It really doesn’t make any sense.

This is a great saying.

He really did give very long responses.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

Hey, at least she admitted she was wrong.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a customer who insists that their credit card works, and finds out that isn’t the case.