Breakups are hard after being together for years.

This woman broke up with her boyfriend because of differences in marriage and family views. When he finally changed his mind and wanted to get back together with her, she said no.

Should she reconsider? Read below for the full story.

AITA for not going back after my ex ‘changed’ once I left?

I (27F) was in a relationship with my ex (39M) for almost six years. We got together when I was 21, and he was 34.

From early on, he was very clear that he did not want marriage or children. I’ve always known that I do.

I stayed longer than I should have, partly because I was young and partly because my early 20s were very unstable due to family issues, and he felt like my main source of emotional support.

Over the years, the incompatibility became unavoidable. He repeatedly told me he didn’t want children and even told me I should find someone else who did.

Despite this, we stayed together for a long time for practical reasons (housing, shared life, etc.).

Eventually, we broke up because this issue couldn’t be resolved.

Her ex became the man this woman wanted him to be.

After the breakup, he became very emotional and repeatedly asked for me back. At first, he still hadn’t changed his stance.

When I truly pulled away and started building my own life, he suddenly said he had changed his mind and now wanted marriage and children. He proposed and made big future plans very quickly.

On paper, this was everything I had wanted for years — but instead of feeling relieved or happy, I felt anxious and exhausted.

Looking back, there were also ongoing issues in the relationship beyond incompatibility: problems with boundaries, criticism, and feeling emotionally unsafe at times, especially when I was ill or asked for space.

She feels guilty for refusing to take him back.

Even when I tried to take things slowly after his “change,” I felt pressured and guilty for having boundaries.

I still love him deeply and hate seeing him hurt, which makes this incredibly hard.

He says I’m being unfair and that if I truly loved him, I would give him one last chance now that he’s offering what I wanted.

I feel torn between guilt, love, and my own sense that going back wouldn’t be healthy for me.

Trust yourself and maintain your boundaries.

Let’s read what other people in the comments section are saying.

Here are some valid points.

Some sage advice.

This makes a lot of sense.

A helpful tip from this user.

And some wise words from this one.

Breakups happen for a reason; going back would be a mistake.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.