This teenager has lived with her stepmom for years and once had a decent relationship with her.

Over time, that dynamic shifted into constant monitoring, passive-aggressive comments, and invasive behavior.

From portioning food to checking grades and emails, the stepmom’s involvement began to feel controlling rather than supportive.

Eventually, one comment about food pushed the teen past her breaking point.

AITA for telling my stepmom I will never see her as a parent

I 15 female have a stepmom who my dad has been dating since 2017. They got married in 2020 and since around 2022 everything has changed she used to be kind and now she feels downright judgmental.

It all started with her, making me measure out my food. She would literally make me take out the measuring spoon and measure my yogurt because she said that my portions were too big. This was for all kinds of food, but she would never do it in front of my dad.

I never took it personally because I knew that she struggled with her weight and my dad told me that her doctor told her that she needed to lose weight and that’s why she was trying all sorts of different diets.

Wow, that’s extreme.

She’s also nothing like my mother. She can say the rudest things in the most calm tone and be extremely passive aggressive, and when my mom is upset, she will not be like that at all she is rarely passive aggressive

My stepmom tends to go to her room when she’s upset and send me a paragraph long text the next day and my mom is nothing like that.

We always talk out the issue. My mom is not perfect, but they are extremely different.

Clearly.

They’re all kinds of issues leading up to this, including her not letting me and my 13-year-old brother go with her and my dad to pick up our new puppy which I was obviously very excited about as a 15-year-old girl.

She checks my dad‘s email and my grades on a regular basis and then tells him that he needs to talk to me about my school in my grades. It is odd because my dad would never check those kind of things if she wasn’t there, I’m not hiding anything.

I have almost all straight A’s with one B. and yet there’s always something to talk about.

Trust issues much?

The issue happened a few weeks ago when I was in the car with her and my brother, and she was talking to me about my food and saying that I packed too big of portions in my lunchbox not that this matters but I’ve never been overweight.

I’m 5 foot seven 140 pounds. And I’m always doing sports but I don’t feel like that matters because even if I was, I feel like it would be extremely critical and rude.

She told me that I need to back smaller portions in my lunchbox and I responded with. I’m glad that you’re not my parent and I will never see you as one.

BURN.

In the following weeks, my dad has said that she’s trying to take steps back and give me my space but she continues to check my dad‘s emails about me and my grades and always has something to say when my dad is not there

I’m asking if I’m in the wrong because what if I was overreacting as a 15-year-old girl and what if I just need to calm down because I assume being a stepmom is hard, but I just feel extremely trapped in the family dynamics with her most of the time.

While she wonders if her age played a role in how strongly she reacted, the pattern of criticism and boundary-crossing is hard to ignore.

Now she’s asking Reddit whether drawing that emotional line makes her cruel—or whether it was a necessary response to ongoing control.

This person says NTA, but this is really the dad’s fault.

This person says step mom needs HELP.

And this person says everyone stinks (just not OP).

You don’t earn the title of “parent” by measuring someone’s yogurt and calling it concern.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.