When we get married and have children with someone, we do so on the basis that we’re going to spend our lives together.

Unfortunately, sometimes this doesn’t work out as we’d expected – but with two grown adults involved, it should be possible to create a stable, comfortable life for the kids even when the parents aren’t together any more.

The mom and her ex in this story are doing a fantastic job of this, with joint custody and a happy, healthy pre-teen daughter.

But her ex’s new girlfriend has just thrown a spanner in the works.

Read on to find out what happened.

AITA for causing issues between my ex-husband and his new girlfriend?

I have been divorced from my ex-husband Kyle for ten years. We have an eleven year old daughter, Luna, together.

When she was a few months old I found out he cheated on me when I was pregnant, and since that point I haven’t talked to him about anything other than our daughter.

Luckily for Luna, he is an incredible and dedicated father, and I’m happy for that. We share custody week on and week off.

I kept the house in the divorce, and he moved into a duplex close by.

Let’s see how things are between the two families now.

He’s been with Wendy for a little over two years, and they have two kids. I’ll never tell my daughter this, but I don’t care to know much about Kyle’s personal life (unless it affects our daughter).

I’ve met Wendy because she moved into with them, and I did my due diligence but like I said, Kyle is a great dad and I’ve never doubted that he has Luna’s best interests at heart so I trust who he would be with.

I’ve believe I’ve done a good job of making Luna know that she can tell me or talk to me about anything, and that I’m always on her team no matter what.

But I do have her seeing a therapist once or twice a month, so she has her to talk to as well. My parents are divorced and growing up I hated talked about one parent to the other, so I want her to have a neutral outlet for that.

Recently though, things in Luna’s life have been changing.

But last week Luna was asking me weird questions, like when her room would stop being her room, or when she’d stop living with me.

Obviously I reassured her, but she told me that the townhouse is too small so Kyle and Wendy are looking for a house. Luna asked Wendy about her room at the new house, and Wendy told her that she would stay in the guest room when she was there.

I told her she probably misheard and that maybe she meant that when she wasn’t there they might let guests use her room (so keep it clean hint hint kiddo haha!), but she insisted that Wendy told her that since she wouldn’t live in the house full-time she didn’t need a room and could just sleep in the guest room.

I asked her if she’d talked to her dad about it and she said she didn’t want to and then tried changing the subject. I didn’t want to push it, and she did see the therapist. But she asked me about it again Sunday before Kyle picked her up.

So this mom decided to speak up for her daughter.

I think in this instance it should be on Kyle to fix the issue, because obviously I have Luna’s best interests at heart but I don’t call the shots in the other house.

I mentioned it to him, and he assured me she must have misheard or misunderstood, but said he’d talk to her. Problem solved!

Except last night I got a rude text from Wendy, basically telling me to stay out of their business and stop asking my daughter about their house.

When I didn’t respond, she sent some more rude stuff about me that was either untrue or out of line.

Uh-oh. Let’s see how she felt about this in the aftermath.

I simply muted her, but I just feel really weird about everything today.

I know she just had the new baby and I’m sure she is pretty emotional right now, but that doesn’t excuse her from saying that to my daughter – and if I was seeing someone who said those things to her, I would want Kyle to tell me.

So I screenshotted the messages and sent them to Kyle, he said he’ll take care of it and apologized, but I’m wondering if I should have just let them handle this from the beginning?

AITA?

This mom is doing exactly the right thing by staying out of her ex-husband’s home life, and it seems to have worked well for them from that point.

But when something is affecting her daughter in such a way, destabilising her life and causing her anxiety, it’s her responsibility as a parent to speak up for her – even if that means getting a little more involved than usual.

There’s only one person who’s in the wrong here, and that is Wendy.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person thought she had done exactly the right thing.

While others thought that Wendy was jealous of Luna.

Meanwhile, this Redditor was suspicious of Wendy’s motives.

It’s nice that this mom is giving her ex’s new girlfriend the benefit of the doubt with her pregnancy hormones, but the way that she’s treating Luna is completely unacceptable.

She is not a guest – she is a child living in her own home. It’s not her fault that she has two homes.

Moreover, the mom is doing the right thing by providing her ex with all the information, even if that does affect his new relationship.

In the end, their daughter comes first.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.