Office culture thrives on small gestures, but forcing “fairness” can backfire fast.

One new hire soon took issue when he noticed he didn’t receive a birthday card in an office big on birthday celebrations.

But when he pushed too far and filed an HR complaint, he ended up becoming the office villain.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITAH for filing an HR complaint about birthday fairness?

I started a new job about two months ago, and so far I enjoy it quite a bit.

It’s a very women-dominated field, which can be difficult at times for obvious reasons, but they all seem to be rather friendly, so it makes up for it.

He noticed that this office was very big on birthdays.

When I first started, I found out some of the girls have a little social committee for our office, which is cute and fun.

One of the things they do is decorate desks for people’s birthdays. Again, it’s super cute.

In the first month I was there, there were a couple of birthdays.

I saw their desks get decorated with some balloons and ribbons, and also a beautiful hand-drawn card that one of the girls does.

So when it came time for his big day, he had high expectations — maybe too high.

Anyway, last week was my birthday.

I came in and found my balloons and my streamers, but immediately noticed the absence of the card.

I didn’t want to cause a scene, so I just casually strolled over to her desk to mention that she forgot.

Immediately, it was clear this girl didn’t want to talk to him.

As soon as I approached, this girl jumped in fear, like I’m an ogre about to murder her. Strike one.

She apologized and said I startled her, but she still looked uncomfortable, which was now making me uncomfortable.

I did the only thing I could and slapped a forced smile on my face and said, “You forgot my card.”

She seemed incredibly uncomfortable by this interaction.

She just stared at me blinking. Strike two.

It was awkward as heck, but I was already there, so I went on and pointed at my desk and told her, “You put up the balloons and streamers but forgot my card.”

She blinked at me again a couple of times, then said, “Oh, that’s just something I do for my friends.” Strike three.

Now he’s fully committed to seeing this through.

Now I was upset.

I told her it didn’t seem fair to do some people’s birthdays better than others.

If she’s going to do something for one person, she needs to do it for everyone.

More blinking.

When she made an excuse to end the conversation, he went from upset to angry.

I swear she was using all 12 of her brain cells to try and summon a thought before she landed on, “Sorry, I have to get back to work.”

Now I was fuming.

So he decided to make a formal complaint to HR.

I paced the cubicle aisles for a bit to cool down before deciding to email HR to set up a meeting about a complaint.

My manager told me they weren’t available, but he would sit down with me.

The manager soon decided no one should get cards.

He was really receptive to my issue and did agree that it wasn’t fair, and he promised to have a chat with her.

Now here’s where things went south.

Instead of telling her she needs to make cards for everyone, he told her she can’t make cards for anyone.

Essentially the opposite of what I wanted.

Other people in the office took notice, too.

Since then, I’ve been like the office piranha.

Word got out that it’s my fault she can’t make people cards anymore, and everyone seems to hate me for it.

It seems like a hostile work environment, but now I’m afraid to complain again because my manager is a backstabber and I can’t trust him.

Now he feels the need to somehow clear his name.

How do I explain that I actually need them to do the OPPOSITE of what they’re doing?

Cards for everyone, not no cards for anyone.

I just want it to be fair, and once again everything blows up in my face.

AITAH for making the complaint?

Not everything in life is fair.

Redditors are sure to have some strong opinions.

This commenter has a huge problem with almost everything about this story.

It’s abundantly clear to this redditor who’s at fault in this story.

This user points out just how childish this behavior really is.

This was definitely not friendly behavior.

This man was never owed a card, and insisting that he did only made things more uncomfortable for everyone.

Sometimes the real lesson is learning when to let things go.

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.