Imagine growing up in a family where your parents are too hands off. They literally let you fail at school and aren’t very involved in your life.

If you saw your younger sister going down the same path, would you try to help her out so that she has a better childhood, or would you mind your own business?

In this story, one woman is in this exact situation. She has been trying to help her younger sister, but she has reached her breaking point. Now, she’s wondering if it’s wrong to stop trying to help.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for stepping back and letting my 16 year old sister deal with the consequences of her own behavior because my parents refuse to parent her?

I’m 25F and still living at home. My sister is 16.

My parents are immigrants, extremely avoidant, exhausted, inconsistent, and honestly not great at parenting.

Growing up, I basically raised myself. No boundaries, no structure, no discipline, no involvement in school.

I had really bad grades, really bad mental health, and nobody ever checked in. They were way too lax with me and it messed me up long term.

She wants better for her sister.

Now the same thing is happening to my sister and it’s honestly making me lose my mind.

She’s failing multiple classes. I’m talking literal Fs and Ds. She has sleepovers every single weekend, stays on her phone all night, barely studies unless her tutor is physically there, lies about things, and my parents don’t enforce a single rule.

They keep saying “she’s in love” and let her see a boy who cheated on her, manipulated her, ghosted her, and treats her terribly.

There’s another big problem.

My parents also haven’t taken her to her physical doctor checkups in almost two years.

She needed a root canal for about the same amount of time and they still haven’t taken her.

Her breath has recently gotten bad, and it broke me because I know it’s connected to the tooth and nobody is taking responsibility.

She wants to help her sister, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.

Last night my parents didn’t ask her for her phone, so she was awake on it until midnight. They also let her stay home from school today for no real reason. They didn’t check her homework, her attendance, nothing.

I’m the only person in the house who even notices when she’s not doing well.

Here’s the issue. I used to step in and try to “parent” her because nobody else would. I tried to enforce rules, talk to my parents, talk to her, remind her about school, all of that.

Every time I did, it blew up in my face. My parents get defensive or tell me it’s “not my place.” My sister gets mad, lies more, or avoids me. Somehow I end up the bad guy every time.

She has decided to stop trying.

I’m exhausted from being the responsible one my whole life. I’m tired of parenting kids who aren’t mine. I’m tired of the anger I feel watching her go down the same path I went down.

I want to detach, but I feel guilty because nobody else is stepping up.

So now I’ve decided to stop enforcing anything.

I don’t wake her up. I don’t check if she’s going to school. I don’t remind her about homework. I don’t interrogate her about her phone. I stopped trying to convince my parents of anything. I’m just… stepping back.

She knows the school will reach out at some point.

Natural consequences will happen.

She’ll fail classes or get in trouble or the school will reach out, and my parents will be forced to deal with it. I can’t be the only adult in the house anymore.

But now I feel guilty. Like stepping back means I’m letting her fail. Like I’m abandoning her even though she’s not my child.

She feels guilty about letting her sister fail.

AITA for stepping back and letting the consequences fall where they need to fall, even if it hurts her in the short term?

Idk what to do anymore and this is emotionally draining me.

I’m aware I cannot change them. I’m just feeling a lot of guilt, anger, resentment, and sadness at once. Thanks for reading.

She obviously cares about her sister, but her sister is not her responsibility. She is not the parent. Her efforts don’t seem to be helping, so I can understand why she doesn’t want to keep trying to help.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

If the help isn’t helpful, there’s no point in helping.

The biggest problem really is the teeth issue.

This person suggests contacting CPS.

Her sister really does need to go to the dentist.

Her sister is not her responsibility.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.