Growing up in families with special needs often blurs the line between helping out and being asked to give up your childhood.

One teenage girl stepped in to babysit her vulnerable brothers, only to be quietly turned into their full-time caregiver.

But when she tried to reclaim her independence in adulthood, her mom couldn’t stop guilt tripping her.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for never babysitting again

I (18F) have two brothers, both with special needs. M and T—M is 11, and T is almost 8.

M has a mild form of autism and a rare genetic syndrome with a high risk for cancer (thankfully, he is cancer-free).

The family once had dedicated care, but it proved to not be dependable.

When T was three or four and I was 13 or 14, he had a home nurse. She didn’t pay attention to him, and one day while I was there, he fell out of his play area.

We called it “the pit” because it was a gated area with a bunch of blankets and toys. By the time I got from the kitchen to him, she hadn’t even left her chair, which wasn’t even three feet away.

So she became her parent’s back-up plan.

That night, I told my mom and her boyfriend that I didn’t want her watching my brother anymore because I didn’t feel it was safe.

They said okay, but told me I would have to step up more every other day until they found someone else.

I agreed. I had no problem helping if it meant my brother was safe.

But it soon moved from a temporary solution to a permanent reality.

But it went from a few days a week to every single day, except for my mom’s days off. My everyday life became babysitting for 13 hours a day, from a few hours after waking up until almost bedtime.

Even when my mom and her boyfriend were home, instead of one of them going to the store, they both went on milk runs while I babysat.

This really took a toll on her.

I became depressed and overwhelmed, especially since I was doing online school.

Even when I switched back to normal school, my life was wake up, school, babysit, sleep, repeat.

My entire high school career, I had only two friends—one from before the babysitting started and one who was my cousin.

She couldn’t seem to get out of the arrangement no matter what she did.

I tried graduating early just to get free college, and it turned into college plus babysitting. No matter how many times I tried to get out of it, it always blew up in my face and got turned on me for “not caring for my brothers as much as I could.”

It finally took leaving her mother’s house for good.

I finally got out by getting into a fight with my mom and moving back in with my dad.

I got my own job, graduated high school with a college scholarship (I’m going back in the spring), and got my own apartment.

Her mother eventually found another sitter, but still has the nerve to ask her to step in once in a while.

Ever since I left, my mom figured it out and got one of my friends and a random girl I went to school with for half a year to watch my brothers.

Now, whenever she asks me to watch them—even for 15 minutes—I say no. I just can’t bring myself to do it.

For her, it’s now a line she isn’t willing to cross.

I associate it with how depressed I was during my teen years and don’t want to put myself through that again.

AITA for always turning her down?

Everyone has to stick up for their boundaries one way or another.

What did Reddit think?

No one this young should have this much on her plate.

She deserves to at least be compensated for her time.

This commenter suspects her mom is just taking advantage of her.

It’s not fair how the adults in her life were treating her.

Her mom can’t keep expecting her to sacrifice her time and her needs.

You can care deeply and still draw a line.

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